


Between Two Infinities

by Azkaabanter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: A little, Abusive Parent, Cap-IM Big Bang 2018, Clintasha - Freeform, F/M, Homophobia, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Irondad, M/M, Stony - Freeform, Titanic AU, Well - Freeform, close enough, if the Titanic was in the 40s, steamy car sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 11:53:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16555271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azkaabanter/pseuds/Azkaabanter
Summary: The Titanic, 1946. Steven Grant Rogers did not think that going to war would end up with him being three times his normal size with superstrength and agility to boot, and... rich...but hey, he wasn’t complaining. Steve also didn’t expect to fall out of love- if it was even love in the first place- with the woman he was explicitly told to propose to, and instead fall for a formerly rich, formerly a playboy, still a genius, Tony Stark. Especially because, you know, it was a little tiny bit illegal, and he was supposed to be “America’s Golden Boy”, as Bucky put it.All Tony expected out of the trip was to escape Europe with his best friend thanks to a lucky game of blackjack. He didn’t think he’d find himself having sex in the back of a car located in the cargo hold of the Titanic, or almost jumping off said ship. But that was just the life of a rogue Stark child, wasn’t it? At least Peggy was nice. Her dad, not so much.





	Between Two Infinities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adarksweetness](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adarksweetness/gifts).



> Wow... this has been a wild experience. This is the longest piece I've ever written, which is the main reason why I haven't posted in so long. It's safe to say that I'm extremely happy with how most of it came out. I'll probably come back and revise one day, but until then, please, enjoy "Between Two Infinities."
> 
> Also, make sure you check out the artist who made the art for my fic! Her tumblr is @maniibear

_April 10, 1946_  
  
Steve was sure he’d never seen anything so big in his life. Okay, that... that was a lie, but, God,  _just look at it!_  
  
Steve Rogers gazed up in wonder at the Titanic, the gargantuan vessel that was to bring him back to New York as a battle toughened, broad shouldered war hero, though the word hero still felt foreign to him, as did his enhanced body even after about four years of having the thing. It was so strange for him to look in a mirror and see huge muscles and not anemic looking skin-and-bones, but that’s besides the point. He was about to sail on the biggest ship in the world!  
  
Thousands of people crowded the docks, staring up at the giant metal masterpiece that was said to be unsinkable. The sky was blue, there was a slight breeze in the air, and the excited buzz filled Steve with an almost childlike giddiness that seeped into his bones.  
  
“You excited Cap?” The voice of Bucky Barnes filled the blonde soldier’s left ear, distracting him from the surrounding bustle, making him smile.  
  
“You know it.” A salty breeze blew as the pair turned back to the car, and Steve opened the door to take his fiancé- ( _wow_... fiancé...) Peggy’s hand and help her out- not that she needed it. If the way the woman shot a gun was any hint, the supersoldier didn’t think that getting out of a car would be too much of a problem for her.

  
Steve could remember what her father told him the first time they met; to the outside world, Peggy Carter was no more than any other woman, and was to be treated as such. He wasn’t to mention her being a secret military agent or being in the military in general; everyone the Carter family knew just thought she was off studying poetry in Greece. That was also the day that her father shoved a ring box in his hand and told the hero that he was to propose to her. The man also handed him a large, extremely heavy velvet case, containing a necklace with the biggest, gaudiest, (and only) diamond he’d seen in his entire life. Jeremiah told him it was called the Arc Diamond, and was worn by Louis the 16th- 56 karats or something crazy like that, and it felt wrong in his used-to-be-poor hands. Steve was told that he would be giving that necklace to Peggy on their wedding day, and he secretly thought that the gem would give her neck pain before she even finished walking down the aisle. As he left the Carter house that day, with jewelry costing more money than he could spend in a lifetime in his hands, he agreed to propose to Peggy for some reason, even though he had nothing really to lose by saying no.   
  
Steve looked at her sideways just then as she stepped out onto the uneven Southampton street, dark hair tucked into a rather large hat, lips painted their routine red, but eyes lacking their usual luster. She was breathtaking, as per the norm, but inside he could tell she was unhappy.   
  
And if he was being honest with himself, he was unhappy too.  
  
“Steven!” The deep voice of Peggy’s father rang out over the crowd, commanding attention. The man walked primly around the automobile, his face clenched as if he had smelled something foul before he looked at the couple. He had a bald spot on the top of his head, ringed by greying mousy brown hair, a permanent scowl, and wore his smart charcoal suit like he was born to. He was exactly Steve’s opposite, and that’s probably why the blonde had such a problem with him.

  
“Yes, sir?” The man paused for a moment, as if to collect his thoughts. Steve could almost see the rusty gears grinding in that old prejudiced head of his.  


“As soon as we are on that dreadful ship-“ A hint of a frown graced Steve’s face at the depreciation of what he thought to be a piece of the art he loved so much. His old sketchbook and charcoal pencils were tucked safely into one of his bags as they spoke. “-I want you to meet me in the parlor for a smoke and some brandy.”  
  
“Sir, I don’t smoke-“  
  
Jeremiah scoffed haughtily. “Surely you must do something other than-“  
  
“Something other than win a war you never fought in,  _sir_ ?” Bucky’s voice joined the mix, and Steve could swear he’d never seen anyone’s- not even Red Skull’s- faces turn from one of nonchalance to enraged in that small a time.  
  
“Well,  _son_ , the fact that I wasn’t chained up being brainwashed by HYDRA for half of the war makes it seem like I was at least that much more helpful than  _you_ .” Jeremiah jabbed a finger into Bucky’s chest, and said dark haired soldier looked so mad he was about to burst.  
  
“Hey, hey, let’s just... just all calm down for a moment, shall we?” Peggy piped up, stepping between the two men who looked scarily close to throwing hands, trying to ease the tension. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding when the two backed down, Bucky muttering something about helping the bellboys with their bags while turning away from the group and walking towards the ship. The woman’s eyes followed him for a moment before she started speaking. “Steve?” The man hummed in response, attention focused on the grand ship once again. Peggy sighed, grabbing  his hand in her own. “C’mon, let’s just get onboard.” And they did, Steve leading the way while the crowd parted in front of him, Peggy on his arm and Jeremiah slightly behind, muttering about Steve’s bad posture.  
  
Several people cowered in front of the supersoldier, but even more came up to him and meekly expressed their gratitude, which Steve smiled at bashfully before they were shooed away by Mr. Carter. As the trio walked toward the lowered gangplank, Steve couldn’t help but notice how wrong Peggy’s hand felt grasped in his. The engagement ring that belonged to her grandmother sat snugly on her ring finger, and when he looked down at their linked hands, the gold band and large diamond glittered in the sunlight. Peggy was a wonderful woman; Steve would never say anything otherwise. And he loved her, of course he did. But...   
  
did he love her in the marriage way?  
  
Walking up the gangplank and first setting foot on the deck, Steve and Peggy made their way to an unoccupied stretch of railing and leaned over it, looking down to the people below. He gazed over at the woman he thought he would want to spend his life with, and only saw a friend like Bucky. Someone he could always rely on; someone who would always have his back. And when she turned and looked into his eyes, he just felt like maybe she felt the same thing.  
  
-  
  
Tony Stark was a lot of things.  
  
A genius, a playboy, a philanthropist...  
  
a disappointment, a disgrace, an embarrassment...  
  
Those are just a few words that had been used to describe the man in his twenty-five years of life. Yes, some were better than others, and no one could deny those first three-  
  
but Bruce Banner chose to steadfastly deny the last ones.  
  
Who was Bruce Banner, and what did he have to do with Tony Stark? Well, the most important thing to know is that the two were best friends who’d had each other’s backs for years, and Tony being disowned by his father did nothing to change that fact. After he was kicked out, Bruce decided to join the inventor wherever he went, and the two lived day wherever the wind blew them; that time, it blew them right into a sleazy bar in Southampton, England, with a pit stop in France for a few months along the way.  
  
“Tones, this is a terrible idea.” Bruce’s mellow voice masked the anxiety he was obviously feeling at the fact that Tony had bet almost everything they had in a game of blackjack.   
  
“Your mom’s a terrible idea. We’re gonna dust this game.” Tony brushed off the comment, eyes focused solely on the light haired woman across from him who was quickly shuffling the deck of greasy old cards.  
  
“My mom’s dead, Tony.” Bruce whisper yelled, trying to convince his partner-in-crime that Titanic tickets weren’t worth potentially losing the meager money that they had. His hands were shaking and his brow was wet with sweat; the bar was hot for a cold day in April. Vaguely in the background, Bruce could hear the muttering a of the other bargoers- some talking about the game, some discussing future murders (he tried to tune those out), and a pair- a stocky, totally ripped guy with sandy blonde hair, and a tall, lean woman with red hair- quietly talking about some guy who was on the ship.  
  
“Alright, c’mon, daddy needs a new Bentley Mark VI.” Tony muttered as the lady started dealing the cards out, the other three men at the table looking at him warily because  _don’t they recognize him from somewhere?_  
  
“Is now really the time to be thinking about cars?” Tony received his cards, and upon seeing them, grinned for just a moment, and set down his hand to look at his companion.  
  
“It’s always time to be thinking about cars, Bruce.” The genius gazed around the table, taking in the expressions of the other players. One by one, as his competitors revealed their numbers, Tony’s face got sadder and sadder. “But...”  
  
“Oh no... oh, no no no, Tony! That’s everything we have, what are we gonna d- Tony?” Bruce asked, questioning his friend’s blank stare as he looked down at the cards in his hand.  
  
“Y’know, Bruce...” Tony slowly looked up at him, face still blank. “Maybe instead of cars, I should be thinking about boats-“  
  
“What-“ Bruce let out before a huge grin set itself upon Tony’s face whilst he slammed his hand face up on the table, his cards adding up perfectly to 21.  
  
“BECAUSE WE’RE GONNA BE ON ONE FOR ONE GLORIOUS WEEK ON OUR WAY TO AMERICA!” Tony yelled, standing up in his victory and throwing his hands in the air. Bruce let out a whoop of his own and started laughing as he shoved the pile of coins into his bag while Tony ran around the bar with the two tickets in his hand.  
  
“Fucking hell Coulson! I told you not to bet our tickets, you meatball!” One of the competitors- Bruce believed her name was... something Hill? Slapped her partner upside the head in anger before turning to face Tony, who had finally stopped gallivanting around the pub, and Bruce. “You two better get going-“ She pointed over her shoulder to an old clock. “-boat leaves in five minutes.” And with that, the two geniuses pushed their way out of the pub and ran as fast as their legs could carry them towards the ship of dreams, Bruce not noticing that the shady looking pair from before had walked out in the direction of the ship just three minutes before them.

  
“We’re the luckiest sons-of-bitches in the world; you know that?” Tony yelled in pure glee as they sprinted to the boat whose gangplank was just about to be pulled up. He thought he heard Bruce sarcastically comment something along the lines of  _‘practically royalty_ ,” but he didn’t really care. They pushed past throngs of people in their rush to get aboard, but they made it by the skin of their teeth, convincing the steward that they’d already gone through the mandatory lice check and all that shit. ( _He secretly thinks the older man recognized him; probably the only time in his life that being a Stark ever did him some good_ ) “Hurry up!” Tony yelled back at Bruce, who was leaned over, trying to catch his breath. “if we hurry, we can make it to the top deck before the boat pulls away.”  
  
“You go. I’ll-“ he took a moment to pant. “I’ll catch up with you.” Tony paused for just a second before nodding and dashing towards the stairwell, navigating the maze of hallways, and somehow finding himself standing on the top deck amongst 2,000 other people. Though the April air was fairly cold, the sun on his back helped to warm up the former billionaire, and the salty smell of the ocean brought back memories of staying with his mother at their vacation home in Hawaii.   
  
That, of course, was before Pearl Harbor and Hitler and HYDRA; it was a different time.   
  
The young Stark squeezed his way through people packed together like sardines just to simply wave to thousands of people he didn't know and watch the city slowly shrink away. The farther the boat got from the shore, the more the crowd thinned out, until it was just Tony and one other man with neatly cut dark hair and dark eyes; he looked like a military type of man. The two stood in silence for a while before the probable soldier spoke up, turning to face Tony.  
  
“You leave anyone behind?” He asked casually, inky blue eyes questioning. Tony let out a breathy laugh and stared out over the horizon that was now an endless stretch of blue with a faint dark line at the end.  
  
“No one worth caring about...” the other man huffed a laugh, crossing his arms to lean on the freezing metal rail, salty spray stinging his face.

 

“Then why were you waving?” He asked innocently. Tony thought for a moment before replying.

 

“It wasn’t saying goodbye to the people so much as it was saying goodbye to Europe.” His eyes traced the waves. “Probably forever.” Tony sighed, and enjoyed the calm for a moment, before realizing that it was common courtesy to ask the same question back. “What about you? Did you leave anyone behind?” The other man snorted a laugh, almost making the high-class raised man he was talking to cringe.   
  
“Just a whole lot of dead bodies.” He paused for a second. “Everyone I care about is on this boat, or on some other one being shipped back to the Land of the Free, Home of the Brave.”  
  
“You fought?” It was a stupid question; of course this muscled, dark, brooding guy fought. He must have been three-ways from PTSD.   
  
“Yeah, I fought.” He looked like he was going to say more, but decided against it. “...I’m James Barnes, but my friends call me Bucky.” He put out a hand to shake, which Tony accepted gladly. Even though it’d been years since etiquette actually mattered, some demons, unfortunately, never die.  
  
“Tony-“ he hesitated for a moment. “Stark.” Bucky’s grip faltered.  
  
“Howard’s kid?” He asked, and Tony scoffed.  
  
“Not anymore.” The engineer looked out over the water, pensive. “Was too interested in building planes instead of weapons of mass destruction for the old man’s taste. Plus, I was in my fair share of scandals, but you don’t need to know about those.” Tony smirked and looked down at his hands, before coughing and straightening back up. “Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, soldier.” Tony looked the guy up and down, just then realizing that Bucky was wearing a suit similar to what he used to wear. “New money?” The words just fell out of his mouth.

  
“Pardon?” Bucky asked, tugging unconsciously at his starched shirt collar. Tony smiled at the confirmation.

  
“New money. You got payed a hell of a lot from that war, huh? You must’ve been in Captain America’s little circle then.” Bucky stayed silent, mouth slightly agape, which made Tony feel rather pleased with himself and his detective skills. “Just watch your back. Rich people are, nine times out of ten, only talking to you because they want your money, want to destroy you because they see you as a threat, or want to keep up appearances.” A seagull cried overhead, breaking Tony’s train of thought.   
  
“And that final one out of ten?” Bucky spoke up as Tony was about to walk down to third class and find Bruce. He thought for a moment, before continuing to the stairs.  
  
“They aren’t rich anymore or weren’t born rich... those are the ones you can trust.” He paused, looking back out over the water and pointing, a soft smirk on his face. “I can almost see the Statue of Liberty from here… it’s very small, though.” He finished, disappearing under the deck on his way to third class, leaving Bucky to process what he’d just learned.  
  
-  
  
“Steve, hurry up! My father does not appreciate being kept waiting-“   
  
“Yeah, just... just one second.” Steve didn’t want to go inside, not when there was such a spectacular view to behold. For fuck’s sake there were  _dolphins_  jumping along with the ship, and that seemed a bit more important than going into a stuffy room to have a drink with Peggy’s dad. His fiancé rolled her eyes while a hint of a smile graced her porcelain face.  
  
“Please just hurry.” She said, turning on her heel and walking stiffly back into the ship. Steve didn’t reply; he only looked over the railing, contemplating the choice he made. He was an American hero. Hell, we was a world hero, and he couldn’t even stand up to a crusty old World War One general?   
  
‘ _It’s because it’s her dad, you dolt._ ’ A fairly logical voice echoed inside his head. Yup, that was probably it. Steve played with his fingers as he leaned his chest over the railing. 

 

“Just because I don’t want to marry her doesn’t mean I don’t love her…” He muttered to himself, hardly noticing when his best friend appeared at his side.

 

“So I was right.” Bucky declared, pressing his arm up against Steve’s whilst wearing a proud grin on his face. “You really should listen to me more, doll.” The blonde smirked and shoved his best friend with a wide shoulder.

 

“I told you not to call me that, Barnes.”

 

“And do I usually listen to you?” Steve’s mouth was left gaping as he tried to come up with a snarky reply, but his silence was the only answer the other soldier needed. “Exactly.” The two continued to stare out at the water in a comfortable silence for a few minutes after that, taking in the peaceful serenity that surrounded them.

 

“Is it wrong to be scared?” Steve muttered, surprising Bucky.

 

“Scared of what, Peggy? Of her dad? Steve, you literally killed the leader of HYDRA-“

 

“No, no not Peggy or her dad…” He looked around before finishing the thought, as if it was a crime to be caught saying what he wanted to. “I’m scared of going back.” He said, and Bucky’s features instantly softened. “It’s… it’s like everything’s gonna be different- I mean, obviously everything’s different, just look at us.” Steve laughed breathily, gesturing to himself up and down and how his body’d changed.

 

“Yeah, you can say that again.” Bucky’s look turned dark suddenly, as if there was something else clogging his mind, before Steve continued, unnoticing.

 

“Our lives for the past four years have been blood and war and death…” Steve sighed and leaned his back on the rail, crossing his arms over his chest and looking out onto the deck below them- third class. That’s where he would be most comfortable. “To go from the trenches to… high society…”

 

“-it’ll almost be like going back into HYDRA’s prison.” Bucky muttered under his breath. Steve wanted, badly, to disagree, but he knew that he couldn’t. He wasn’t made for the upper class. Even though he was a huge, hulking almost immortal soldier on the outside, inside he was still that puny guy from Brooklyn who couldn’t go a week without getting his ass beat in an alley somewhere, and had to steal newspapers out of garbage cans to resell for pocket change.

 

“Y’know, maybe… maybe it… won’t…” And suddenly Steve’s train of thought was derailed when he caught sight of a man on the third class deck with coal black hair and old suspenders hanging down around his hips. He’d been talking to another man with curly grayish brown locks and a dusty old suit jacket in a very animated way; Steve could almost see the shine of his smile from his vantage point so far away.

 

“-eve- Steve!” Bucky’s voice and snapping below his nose pulled the supersoldier out of his daze.

 

“Hm?” He hummed, eyes still glued to the mysterious man below him, whose eyes flicked up for a millisecond to meet his for one sweet moment that had the blonde stunned. It was like he had gotten tunnel vision for that split second because he found himself locked in that moment for seemingly hours.

 

“You kinda spaced out there, bud-“ Bucky said, before following Steve’s line of sight and getting an eyeful of who he now knew to be Tony, who was close to getting lost in the crowd. “Ohh, I see.” The darker haired man turned to his friend, something unreadable on his face. “Steve, you and I both know that can’t happen.” Steve’s eyes widened.

 

“What- you know that’s just some rando guy down there who I’ll probably never see again-“

 

“No, I can see when you’ve got the hots for someone.” Bucky got a little closer to his friend so no one passing by could have the chance of overhearing. “I don’t like the way society is; you know I don’t. That’s why I didn’t run screaming when I found you and that guy in the alley behind Sister Margaret’s-“ Steve’s cheeks heated up at the mention of that incident. “-but, and I know you know this because we’ve been best friends since forever and you’re not a damn idiot, Steve-“ Bucky turned the aforementioned man so he wasn’t facing the deck where the man disappeared into the crowd. “You can’t trust anyone with that secret. Especially not now that you’re an international hero-“

 

“But-“ Steve tried to protest the use of the word hero, but the other man wasn’t having it.

 

“No dice, I’m trying to be a good friend for once.” Steve grinned against his better judgement. “and ESPECIALLY because you have a fucking fiancé who’s father is ALSO a famous- and feared- war hero. If word of you being-“ He looked over his shoulder. “gay- ever got to the press-“

 

“Since when do you care about the press, Buck?” Steve questioned, pushing Bucky away and turning back to look out over the vast ocean, not bothering to mention that he wasn’t  _gay…_  he just… liked men  _and_  women.

 

“Since you’re finally getting the respect you deserve and I don’t want to see you treated like dirt again.”  Steve opened his mouth to reply, before angry sounding footsteps neared the pair, and the conversation- as well as the very attractive man- were forgotten in the shadow of Jeremiah Carter.

 

“Why are you still out here?” The man asked gruffly, reaching out and grabbing Steve by the sleeve. Bucky shot the soldier a questioning look that seemed to ask ‘ _why are you letting him do that_?’ All Steve could do was lightly shrug in response. “I thought I told Margaret-“ oh no, he pulled out the real name- “to come and get you.”

 

“She did, sir.”

 

“And I thought you were going to meet me for some brandy in the lounge-“

 

Steve pulled his arm out of the older man’s grasp as gently as he could, and followed. “I was just enjoying the view with Bucky.”

 

“Well, are you marrying James or are you marrying my  _daughter_?” Jeremiah pushed open the door leading to the first-class suite rooms with a bit more force than necessary.

 

“Well, in a perfect world-“ Bucky piped up sarcastically, but Mr. Carter wheeled around, once again fuming at Steve’s best friend.

 

“I  _respectfully-“_ it wasn’t very respectful if you asked Steve- “request that if your comment just there meant what I think it meant, you get out of my sight immediately before I call security-“

 

“No need to snap your cap sir; it was just a joke.” Bucky replied, digging a calm attitude out from somewhere, and Steve couldn’t help but respect him for it. Jeremiah stayed in the dark haired man’s face for a good ‘nother five tense seconds, before backing down and turning to walk back down the hallway, muttering some choice words under his breath. Steve followed, Bucky at his side.

 

“I told you.” The blonde’s friend whispered in his ear so quietly that Steve thought he might have imagined it.

 

And the rest of the way to their rooms, all Bucky could do was curse his luck over and over again because of course his best friend had to set his sights on the man who’s had more scandals than he cared to recount- Tony Stark.

 

-

“The sun’s gettin’ real low, big guy. We should probably find our room.” Tony told Bruce, who nodded with a smile. The two wandered the halls nestled deep in the  _Titanic_  to try and find their sleeping quarters.

 

Third class was nothing fancy, but it was the closest thing to his old life that he’d gotten in the almost two years since stopping in France. Tony and Bruce flopped onto their beds without even acknowledging their roommates after several hours of just wandering around the third-class accessible portion of the ship. Said roommates looked at the pair and rolled their eyes with slight smiles.

 

“I guess Hill and Coulson won’t be joining us?” A man’s voice asked, and Tony turned around to recognize whoever was talking.

 

“Yeah, they weren’t too good at blackjack-“

 

“They just weren’t as good as  _me_ , at blackjack.” Tony interrupted Bruce, and the latter rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Bruce finally set his sights on the other two in the room, and his jaw nearly dropped. It was the two from the bar.

 

“Well, it seems that we’ll be spending some time together, so we might as well introduce ourselves.” The red haired woman said, before proceeding to elbow her companion in the ribs.

 

“Ow! Okay!” He exclaimed, rubbing the spot tenderly and sticking out his free hand to shake. “Clint Barton.” He said kindly. Bruce gladly took his hand to shake while Tony seemed to be a bit wary.

 

“Why do I feel like I’ve heard that name before?” Tony asked, Clint’s face heating up.

 

“We’re world travellers; you might have seen us in some city before.” The woman interjected. “Tasha Romanov.” She introduced herself regally.

 

“Well, I’m Bruce Banner, and this stick in the mud right here-“ Bruce reached around Tony’s shoulders to pull him close. “is Anthony Stark.”

 

“Tony.” The man corrected gruffly, but smiled at his roommates all the same. “As long as you don’t snore as much as I do, I think we’ll get along just fine.”

 

While Bruce was chatting up the duo of travellers, Tony decided it was a good time to take his leave. He wandered through the maze of identical hallways until he found a door that lead out onto a different deck than the one he had been on earlier that day. He stepped out into the cold evening air and felt it wrap him up like a reverse blanket coming out of those stuffy quarters, dragging out a smile from the man.

 

He continued out just a bit onto the empty promenade- why it was empty, Tony couldn’t tell. It was such a gorgeous night, with an even more gorgeous sunset. The engineer continued further and further out onto the deck until he reached the stern of the ship; calling her a boat would be a great injustice.

 

He reveled in the beauty of the construction and the detail put into every piece of rigging and every floorboard. An unsinkable beast; just as many would describe Tony himself… or the man who raised him.

 

The engineer’s thoughts turned sour when his father came to mind. The great Howard Stark; an inventor with no match to his intellect: none except for his own flesh and blood. Tony felt like the man was proud of him, once upon a time. It seemed like at some point, his father must have looked at him with a hint of pride, or at least with a lack of contempt. He unconsciously gripped the cold metal banister harder until his knuckles were white. The sky was a sultry navy blue, the brilliant reds, pinks, and yellows disappearing to make way for the velvety heavens of night, dusted with glittering silver stars.

 

Sometimes Tony looked back and wished that he’d done something different. He wished that he’d done as his father’d asked and made weapons, stayed with that Pepper dame, had stuck up kids born to stuck up parents who would spend the holidays with stuck up grandparents to boot. Maybe then his father would say he loved him. But what was the use of living in the past?

 

Tony looked down to see his hands shaking and forcibly stuffed them into his worn pockets, fists clenched. His breathing picked up speed and he could see little puffs of steam exiting his presumably chapped lips to disappear into the cold air. ‘ _Wouldn’t it be easier?_ ” He thought, still watching his visible breaths disappear into nothingness.

 

He looked out again over the endless ocean: calm, inviting, comforting. It felt like it was calling him in as his heart hammered away in his chest. The logical voice in his brain said that it was just the panic attack talking; that he didn’t actually want to go to an icy, seaweed-y grave.

 

But the panic attack was louder, screaming in Tony’s ears that it could be so easy to end the pain of remembering his father and the difficulty of living out of pocket right then if he just  _jumped…_ how bad could it be?

 

So despite all of his natural responses telling him  _water bad, big, safe boat good,_ he didn’t listen. Because who the fuck would listen to Tony Stark? Certainly not him.

 

Tony slowly, rung by rung, started to climb over the rail until he was on the other motherfucking side, the only thing keeping him alive was his sweaty grip on the metal bar behind him.

 

He looked down, and suddenly the ocean didn’t seem so inviting.

 

“Y’know-“ the sudden appearance of a voice scared Tony so much that he nearly let go. He turned his head to see who was talking- and of course it was Captain fucking America. He almost scoffed. “that drop is several stories, and hitting the water at this height would be a death sentence.”

 

“Well, that’s kinda the point, pal.” Tony said between gritted teeth, staring at the frothing white water and the wake that appeared behind the ship. Steve took a step towards him, but the engineer was having  _none_  of that. “Take one step closer and I fucking swear I will let go of this faster than my father disowned me.” ...it kinda just slipped out.

 

“Okay…” he paused for a moment, before sighing in a way that seemed to say  _‘well, what can ya do_?’ and shed his overcoat.

 

“Well, if you’re insisting on letting go, which you won’t, I might add-“

 

“And why do you think that, goldielocks?” Tony quipped even though he wasn’t really in the situation to be making jokes.

 

“Because if you were gonna let go, you probably woulda done it already.” He stopped to let the words sink in, before continuing. “but, I refuse to take that chance.”

 

“What are you doing?” Tony asked, turning his head to the side whilst he was still stuck white knuckled to the railing to see Steve peeling off his vest and dropping it on the floor to join the blazer. And, cool as if he was talking about casually picking up a coffee from the dining room, he spoke.

 

“Well I mean if you jump down, I have to go after you.” Tony started at him.

 

“You know that’ll kill you, right, spork?” Steve let out a breathy laugh as he began to untie his fancy looking shoes.

 

“Spork? That’s a new one.”

 

“Call me creative, Mr. America.” Tony paused, as if to collect himself. His hands were absolutely freezing. “Why would you jump after me?” He asked, more quietly.

 

“Well-“ Steve started, without hesitation “if you haven’t heard, I’m kind of a war hero with supersoldier serum in my blood. And letting a citizen go for a swim without a lifeguard on duty would be a bit of a stain on my track record.” He paused to look at the man balanced precariously on the outside of the ship, and his voice was making him sound a hell of a lot calmer than he felt in that moment.

 

“You’re cock-eyed-“

 

“No, I’m personally invested. If you go, I go, and I’m sure as hell not looking forward to hitting that water.”

 

“Yeah, it’s most definitely at least a little below freezing.” Tony said, looking down past his old shoes to the icy teeth of the water ready to rip him to shreds. The panic attack passed at some point while Steve was talking- now all that was in its place was fear.

 

“One time, I was dared by my friend Bucky-“ Okay, he knew Bucky. Bucky was nice, he was understanding. He listened. “-to go walk out onto the Hudson river while it was frozen” Steve walked closer with his hands up showing Tony that he wasn’t going to try anything, and leaned his arms on the metal bars, looking out over the water wistfully, blonde hair blowing gently in the cold breeze. “it was a pretty shitty idea, now that I look back. New York rivers never really freeze enough to stand on. So, naturally, I fell right through about ten feet away from the bank.” Tony stayed silent as the story continued. “The water was so cold, and believe it or not, I used to be so small, that I was paralyzed. If Bucky hadn’t pulled me out in time, I woulda been dead in a snap, sucked away by the current.”

 

“That sounds awful…” Tony said quietly.

 

“Yeah… which is exactly why I’m not too excited about jumping in to go get you.” Steve said, shaking his head. Tony rolled his eyes, though he was trembling with fear. He slowly turned around so that he was basically nose to nose with Captain freaking America. So close, in fact, that he could feel the blonde’s warm breath on his cheeks.

 

“Just get me back over already, you goody two shoes.” Tony breathed, Cap grinned his thousand watt smile and took the engineer by the arm to help him over. “I’m Tony. Stark. Tony Stark.” He said suddenly as he was carefully climbing back over the rail, trying to fill the tense silence that fell over them.

 

“Steve Rogers.” The moment Tony looked away from his feet to smile at the handsome beefcake in front of him, his right foot caught on one of his dangling suspenders and he slipped, heart stopping and the thought that this was the end flashing through his mind before he was hanging by his left arm, held tight in Steve’s grasp. The brunette let out a hiss in fear and suddenly he realized in that moment that he  _didn’t want to fucking die- not for a long ass time_.

 

“Hey, hey I’ve got you-“ Steve gasped out, gripping his arm tight as a vice while the water roared below. “I promise, I, I won’t let go-“ So Tony fought to get his sorry ass back over that railing and when he did, he ended up grasped tightly in Steve’s warm arms, both men sprawled on the deck.

 

“Fuck-“ he cursed, and at the sound of approaching footsteps, reluctantly peeled himself away from the war hero.

 

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, crystalline eyes wide with worry.

 

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine-“

 

“Steve!” The voice of a woman with a very heavy accent called out, and the blonde turned to see said woman, a frown on his face. She hesitated when she saw the two men on the ground so close to each other, but brushed it off as Steve stood up. “Father’s been looking for you everywhere! You can’t just run out of dinner like that-“

 

“C’mon, I didn’t  _run-“_

 

“For once my daughter is right!” A booming voice came out of the shadows, making the woman bite her lip and Steve visibly tense. A man appeared in the light, and Tony recognized him instantly; Jeremiah Carter. He was close friends with his father, until they had a huge falling out. Of course Steve had to be with the daughter or his father’s ex-best friend. “You need to learn some manners and some  _respect_!” The man boomed, making his daughter flinch and Steve reach out to comfort her. Tony liked to believe he didn’t feel a flicker of jealousy towards the fiancé of the presumably straight war hero at the sight.

 

“I’m sorry sir-“ Steve tried to apologize, but Mr. Carter wasn’t hearing a single word.

 

“Sorry doesn’t cut it.” He fumed, eyes bugged out. “You’re not some sewer rat from a dirty hovel in New York City anymore, Steven. People all over the world look up to you now-“ even though he was a head shorter than Steve, Tony observed, the larger man still seemed to almost cower in front of the general. “-why don’t you start acting like it.” Steve could merely nod before Tony’d had enough. He’d seen more of this asshat than he cared to admit. It was almost nice to see him again though,  now that they both hated his father. The young Stark decided to clear his throat, making his presence known.

“O-oh, yes. Um, Peggy, Mr. Carter, allow me to introduce Tony-“

 

“Stark.” Jeremiah finished, eyes going from wide to narrowed in record time. Steve looked confused.

“You two know each other?” The old general scoffed and looked away. “Of course I know him. His father and I used to work together. He was my protege, until he decided to stab me in the back.”

 

“Yeah, my dad is like that.” Tony said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. For a guy in rags who was about to kill himself just minutes earlier, he thought he wasn’t doing too badly in the sass department.

 

“Well, at least he’s doing better than you.” Jeremiah laughed, and Tony couldn’t help the burning he felt in his face. Scratch that last thought.

 

“Father-“ The woman- Peggy, tried to interrupt.

 

“Howard may be an idea stealing asshat, but at least he has enough money to pay off the newspapers to keep his scandals quiet.” Jeremiah said, leaving Tony, for once in his life, stunned enough to keep his mouth shut.

 

“That’s enough.” Steve cut in, trying to ignore the sizable puzzle pieces he’d just fit together within that conversation. Jeremiah just scoffed once again- he really liked to scoff- and pulled his overcoat tighter around his shoulders, turned on his heel, and walked back across the deck into the heat of the ship. Peggy turned to face Tony.

 

“I’m so sorry about my father-“

 

“Don’t worry, I know how it is.” He winked at her, and she let out a hearty laugh.

 

“I’m sure you do; I worked with yours during the war… he was-“

 

“An ass?” Steve supplied, putting an arm around Peggy’s shoulders.

 

“Yes, that’s a good word.” She laughed, though both looked an amount more uncomfortable now that Steve was holding her so close. Tony gave his old press smile- it was a little rusty, but it would do- and walked over to pick up Steve’s vest, coat, and shoes, putting them into the soldier’s hands, and stepped back.

 

“Well, uh…” Tony looked back and forth between Steve and his fiancé, the former with a blonde brow raised. He cleared his throat. “thanks for hanging out with me, Captain Rogers. It was a pleasure.” Steve looked surprised for a moment before masking it with impressive ease.

 

“Anytime, Tony, and it’s Steve.” The man started walking away from the couple, before a warm hand was placed on his shoulder, turning him back around. “How would you like to join us for dinner tomorrow night? Say we meet on the grand staircase around 6:30?” His eyes held an unsaid request that seemed to be ‘ _come to dinner so that I can make sure you’re okay.’_ Tony grinned at the pair.

 

“Wouldn’t miss it even if the ship was sinkin’.”

-

 

 Steve never could get used to the dinners with these upperclass people. They would sit stiffly in their chairs, unsmiling or fake smiling for hours, eating small portions of overly expensive food ( _except for him, of course; superhero metabolism_ ) and making the most boring small talk he’d ever heard. Honestly, he didn’t know how these people managed it every night for their entire lives. It was pure torture to him, at least.

 

“Darling, it’s time for dinner.” Peggy said softly, walking up behind her betrothed and running a now dainty hand across Steve’s back. The soldier also had to remind himself that the hand currently resting on his spine was used to shoot a gun and unflinchingly to punch a new recruit in the nose.

 

“Are you sure we can’t skip?” Peggy shook her head, meeting Steve’s eyes in the mirror.

 

“You have to get used to dining with people like this. And get used to people saluting you and calling you Captain America all the time.” She joked, backing away, turning the soldier around and straightening his suit jacket. She stepped back to admire him. “There. You could almost pass for a gentleman.” The corners of Steve’s mouth turned up in a slight smile as he gazed down at her.

 

“Almost…” Steve took that moment to look around the room at the decorations that probably cost more than everything in his and Bucky’s old apartments combined. Gold jewelry boxes and porcelain washbowls and ten thousand thread-count sheets… it was everything he’d always dreamed of…

 

but now he wasn’t sure he wanted it anymore.

 

“C’mon, dad’s already there.”

 

“What about Bucky?” Steve questioned, and Peggy hesitated before answering.

 

“Father didn’t… want him at dinner tonight.” A lick of anger tore through Steve.

 

“What?” He was, fists clenched, trying to remain calm. Peggy looked at him apologetically.

 

“I think it’s because it’s the first night on the ship, and dad’s trying to get in with the Captain.”

 

“And can he  _not_  do that with my best friend there or something?” She patted him on the shoulder and turned back to the door, opening it and gesturing for Steve to follow.

 

“I’ll make him promise to let Bucky come for dinner the rest of the trip, but he wouldn’t budge tonight…” Steve begrudgingly followed his fiancé into the hallway and walked dejectedly towards the first class dining room, her arm wrapped through his. As they walked, he took a look at her.

 

She was absolutely stunning, as usual. She wore a red dress not much different to the one she wore to the pub back on the base that night, and gold stud earrings. Her hair fell in loose waves to her shoulders, though she kept insisting that she wanted to grow it longer again. Steve secretly felt that the length it was already at suited her much more. After a few minutes of him taking glances at her, Peggy finally took notice.

 

“What on earth are you looking at?” She asked at a whisper, eyebrow raised as they descended the staircase.

 

“I’m looking at you.” He said into her ear, softly. He almost laughed aloud at the blush that started to drape itself over her.

 

The two entered the dining room with all its fancy cutlery, Steve pulled out the chair for Peggy who sat down daintily, which was a total 180 from how she was acting just moments before. He took his own seat next to her, and for some reason earned himself a dirty look, once again, from Jeremiah. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes and focused on the other people sat at the table.

 

The Captain, a man named Nick Fury- odd name is you asked Steve- greeted the blonde with a polite salute. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Captain Rogers.” He said with a tight lipped smile. “This is Thor, the assistant ship builder, and his brother Loki who assisted with the bulkhead blueprints.” He gestured to a man with short blonde hair, though Steve couldn’t help but picture him with longer locks, and a thinner man with long black hair, the color reminding him of that man from earlier on the deck when he was talking to Bucky.

 

“Pleasure. But it’s just Steve” He said with a polite grin, receiving one in return. He stayed silent for a while as Jeremiah and Peggy conversed with the three men. All Steve could do was think about that man from earlier and try to remember the dinner etiquette lessons he’d received the week before. Why the mother _fuck_ were there so many forks? Steve found himself greatly wishing that Bucky was there with him; he was completely out of his element, and as much as he hated to admit it, his fight or flight instincts were kicking in.

 

He drummed his fingers repeatedly on the table, and bounced his leg up and down. Peggy gave him a look to signal him to calm down, but he just couldn’t. The room was too hot… too small, too crowded. The supersoldier pulled at his collar, wanting badly to shed his overcoat but remembering that it was considered ‘ _bad etiquette’_  to do so. As the entreés were carried out and set in front of the people sitting at the table, no one but himself, Thor, and Peggy thanking the wait staff, Steve figured he’d had enough, and rose to a stand.

 

“Well, thank you very much for the glorious meal and company.” He said, trying not to convey how much he needed to leave that room by choosing words that would make him seem casual. Mr. Carter looked absolutely aghast while the other men at the table looked at him understandingly. Peggy just stared down at her primly folded fingers, studying them like they were some undiscovered species. “I’m sorry but I must take my leave. My…” Steve looked away awkwardly. “enhancements make it difficult to sit in one place for too long. Please, enjoy the rest of dinner.”

 

As Steve turned and walked away, he simply appreciated the bullshit that left his mouth. The serum did exactly the opposite of what he’d said; it enhanced his focus so that he’d be able to keep himself under control and calm for long stretches of time.

 

He was honestly quite proud of his lie when he strode out onto the empty stern deck… well, almost empty.

 

Out on the far rail- on the  _outside_  of the far rail- was the man from the promenade deck earlier. His dark hair blew in the wind and was outlined in white from the combination of starlight and electric lights supplied by the ship. As Steve carefully stepped closer, he could see the man’s shoulders rising up and down rapidly, demonstrating how hard he was breathing, as well as his knuckles whitened from how hard he was holding on to the railing. On a less important note, he could also now see that the man’s hair was, in fact, not black, but a deep chocolate brown. That’s when Steve decided to make his presence known.

 

Later, he found himself lying in bed after just saving the man- Tony’s- life, and inviting him to dinner. He didn’t think about it at the time, and then it sorta just slipped out.

 

But that wasn’t the concerning thing. The thing that was really upsetting Steve was how right it felt to hold Tony for those few moments he did after pulling the other man over the rail. How the engineer tucked himself perfectly into Steve.

 

He was warm, but also grounding; it was a feeling he’d never experienced before.

 

And that scared him.

 

He was lying a room away from the  _woman_  he was supposed to marry. He knew that the best thing would be to just forget about dinner tomorrow; send a servant ( _ugh, he hated that word_ ) down to third class to tell Tony that the dinner was off, and never see the man again. He didn’t need to fall for a man, especially not one who he’d barely spoken to for ten minutes, and whose father was enemies with that of his fiancé.

 

_HE HAD A FIANCÉ._

 

Of all the times to actually fall for someone- or at least have some sort of  _spark_ with someone, it had to be weeks before his wedding, and weeks after his proposal. Just his luck. Oh, and it had to be a man to boot.

 

Steve turned and groaned into his pillow, the silky red comforter bunching up around his legs. Starlight filtered through a gap in the heavy curtains, and the gentle rocking of the ship and sound of lapping water were what finally pulled his conflicted mind to sleep.

 

_April 11, 1946_

 

When Tony woke up the next morning, the first thing he heard was an enthusiastic “where the fuck were you last night?” from Bruce. Which was, of course, his favorite thing ever. Couldn’t possibly be replaced, not even by being wrapped tightly in the arms of America’s Golden boy who was, of course, unbelievably attractive.

 

Seriously, it should be a crime to be that hot.

 

But anyway, the reason  _THAT_  moment wasn’t his number one, numero uno, his Golden Fleece, his Scarlet Ibis, was simply because he’d been moments away from jumping off the back of the  _Titanic._  Which was, he admitted to himself as he dodged Bruce’s question and climbed off his bed onto the cold floor, probably not one of his best moments.

 

“Tones seriously, I turned around and you were gone. I asked Clint and Tasha-“

 

“We thought you died.” Clint joked, poking his head out from the bathroom door. Tony tried not to let the heat from his neck travel to his face, and he fought the urge to hold tightly to his left wrist.

 

“Ease up, Brucie-bear. I know that because you’re a year older than me, you think have to act like my dad. But, now hear me out for a second-“ Bruce crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow. “we aren’t kids anymore. I can take care of myself-“

 

“Tony we both know that is utter bullshit.” Bruce deadpanned, and Tasha let out a quiet  _‘ooh’_ under her breath. Tony just waved them off dismissively, though his insides felt like they were melting from the realization that his best friend was  _right_. He really couldn’t take care of himself. It’d taken him years to adjust from being treated like royalty to being treated like a normal person, and he was  still not done with the culture shock.

 

“Whatever you say, darling.” The engineer threw on a new shirt and passed Bruce with all his judginess, as well as Tasha and Clint who looked solely amused, on his way to the cabin door. “I don’t feel much like getting chewed-out for using my adult privileges to leave your presence.”

 

“Where are you going now?” Bruce sighed. Tony’s mind immediately travelled to Steve’s face, but he tried to rid himself of the thought. No, he would see the soldier later at dinner. Dinner...

 

shit.

 

“Hey, so do any of you guys happen to, I don’t know, have a suit?” Tony asked quickly, ignoring Bruce’s question and surprising everyone in the room.

 

“Why?” Bruce asked, his mood changing startlingly suddenly.

 

“I have a thing later.” The room was silent for a moment before Clint looked up.

 

“...I have one that might fit you-“ He said, and Tasha gave him a look that seemed to portray that she didn’t exactly enjoy that idea. Nevertheless, Tony looked at him gratefully.

 

“Thank you so much, Clint. I really owe you one.” Said man grinned brightly, looking pleased at the fact that he was able to be of help.

 

“No problem.” He replied, moving across the room to take the pieces out of a bag that looked almost too nice to be in third class.

 

“Okay, so can I just ask again, WHY DO YOU NEED A SUIT?” Bruce demanded, his impatience showing through his calm demeanor for a moment. Sometimes Tony forgot that behind the serene, bashful face of his best friend was a man with anger issues; Bruce had learned long ago how to control it, but sometimes he couldn’t help but let it show through. Not that Tony ever cared- Bruce was still Bruce, and while others pushed the man away because of his slip-ups, the genius preferred to see the kind, personable best friend than the giant green monster that everyone seemed to view him as.

 

“Okay so I may have…” Tony took a second to try to decide how he wanted to go about lying to cover up his panic attack and near suicide last night. He obviously wasn’t going to put  _that_ out there. “made, a… friend-“ friend was a strong word. It was more like an acquaintance who happened to save his life and he wanted to fuck, but that was kind of wrong and illegal. “from first class-“

 

“I thought you hated rich people.” Bruce said, and Tony couldn’t help but feel his temper be tested.

 

“That was a broad statement made when I was  _angry_ and feeling betrayed. It doesn’t mean I hate everyone.” He took a breath to calm himself. “Anyway, he invited me to dinner in the ballroom tonight.” Bruce had the nerve to look disappointed.

 

“I thought we were going to check out the third class dining room tonight.” Tony hesitated. Clint and Tasha had left the room a little while ago, Clint leaving the suit pieces strewn across his bed.

 

“I’m sorry, Brucie Bear. I promise tomorrow we will.” The man looked at his friend for a long moment before surrendering into a smile.

 

“You’re lucky you’re smart, Tones. It helps you talk your way out of all the shit you manage to get into.” Bruce laughed and shook his head. “Okay, let’s go over your dinner etiquette: it’s been a while.” He said, sitting down on Tony’s bed and patting the empty space next to him, said man smiling gratefully.

 

“You’re tellin me.”

 

-

As the time to meet Tony came to fruition, Steve couldn’t help but feel extremely nervous. Oh, he wasn’t nervous for Tony- the man had lived something like twenty years in the presence of the Aristocracy, and probably still knew exactly what to do. Him on the other hand…

 

not so much.

 

The soldier tapped his foot on the floor at the first landing of the giant marble staircase that lead to the first class dining/ballroom: the place he was supposed to meet Tony five minutes ago. He couldn’t help the anxiety from building at the thought of embarrassing himself in front of the other man. Bucky’s warnings danced through his head, but he couldn’t help but yearn to ignore them in favor of getting to know Tony better.

 

Peggy, Jeremiah, and Bucky were already seated in the dining room, but Steve insisted on waiting, and when Tony walked down the first half of the staircase to the landing in a suit that looked like it was made for him, he was glad he stayed back.

 

“Tony.” The most charming opening word ever was, of course, just the man he was trying to impress’s first name. Wait… no, he certainly  _wasn’t_ trying to impress Tony, because he had a wonderfully beautiful and intelligent  _fiancé_ waiting in that stuffy, boring dining room with her pit-bull of a dad. And liking Tony would be a little bit illegal. Steve smiled awkwardly and scratched the back of his neck. He wasn’t used to being tongue tied since becoming Captain America, (thanks to all the stage shows) but Tony effectively washed all his experience away with one grin.

 

“Steve.” He responded, tugging on the cuffs of his suit jacket, seeming alarmingly self-conscious. “It’s been awhile since I’ve worn one of these.” Tony admitted, adjusting the sleeves out of what just might have been nerves. (Though he would never admit that because Starks didn’t get nervous.)

 

“Relax, you look spivvy.” Steve tried to keep his tone casual, but he never was a great actor. Saying that the other man looked only  _great_  was an incredible injustice that needed to be punished because  _wow_ did that man shine up like an old penny. His dark hair was slicked back, goatee trimmed, and smile bright as he looked almost adoringly into Steve’s ocean eyes.

 

“Shall we?” Tony asked, and Steve realized with a blush that he was most definitely staring. If he was completely honest with himself, Steve didn’t know how he possibly had been able to hide his feelings towards men for so long.

 

Must’ve been all the bullying.

 

“Definitely.” He said, offering his arm to the other man, who merely rolled his eyes, but surprised Steve by actually taking it. The two walked down the stairs in the direction of the ballroom, trying their best to ignore the dirty stares they were receiving from other patrons. “So, where did you get the suit?” Tony looked confused before realization that he was, in fact, borrowing a suit hit him.

 

“It’s my cabin mate’s. He let me borrow it for the night.” Tony replied, trying to subtly take his arm from Steve’s before entering the main dining room. The soldier couldn’t say he was happy about it, but he was definitely grateful because he would NOT have the willpower to let go, even if his fiancé and her father were right in front of them.

 

“Well he obviously has good taste.” Tony smiled at that.

 

“I’ll be sure to tell him that Captain America complimented his suit. He’ll get a hell of a kick out of that.” He rolled his eyes but continued grinning all the same as the pair arrived at their table. Steve took the seat next to Peggy, Tony adjacent to him, while Bucky was on Tony’s other side. The genius turned to regard Steve’s best friend.

 

“Ah, we meet again mísour.” Tony said, earning a small chuckle from the brunette.

 

“So we do. Can’t say I’m too disappointed-“ Bucky leaned in so that his mouth was right by Tony’s ear. “You’ll probably be more successful in the fancy-people’s etiquette department than ‘ol Steve-o and I.” He said, and then smiled the most pompous one he could muster. Tony laughed at his effort, but made sure it was one of those fancy people laughs that for some reason, he never forgot how to do.

 

“We’ll see about that, I’m a little rusty. And don’t worry about the image- just act like you own a gold mine and you’ll fit right in.” Bucky opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by none other than Jeremiah the mood ruiner. When Tony turned to regard him, the older man had an almost evil smile on his face. The genius was surprised he wasn’t daintily petting a fluffy white cat or something in his lap.

 

“Yes, sir?” He asked, feigning respect (a useful tool taught to him by his mother.)

 

“Well, I was just wondering how the steerage accommodations are.” He said, smirking. Oh, so he was gonna use the  _you’re not rich and I’m going to make everyone else knows it_  card already? Dinner had just gotten started!

 

The captain and ship builders looked vaguely surprised, but Tony didn’t want to give Jeremiah the satisfaction of him even looking the slightest bit embarrassed. He leaned back in his chair, somehow extremely elegant looking but still casual. He’d seen his father do the very same thing as a power play… he didn’t want to do anything that his father would, but somehow this seemed like the only course of action to actually get any respect.

 

“Oh, they’re very nice-“ he paused, then looked the man right in the eye. “hardly any rats.” The table was quiet for a moment, before the guy who Tony remembered from their brief introduction to be named Thor (odd name) bursted out in a roaring laugh, the Captain following suit and soon everyone at the table was laughing at least  _almost_ genuinely. Steve looked over at him, grinning with his perfectly white, straight teeth, and eyes crinkling at the corners in joy. As much as Tony hated to say it, his heart fluttered a bit at the glance.

 

It fluttered even more when Steve reached over and squeezed his knee reassuringly under the table as a sort of ‘ _you’re doing great.’_ symbol, but he was Tony Stark and he was great at everything he did-

 

except for not falling for engaged, straight, famous blonde supersoldiers who he’d known for all of two hours, apparently.

 

“Yes, uh, Mr. Stark is joining us from third-class tonight-“ Steve shot Jeremiah a glare that had Peggy squeezing his bicep. “He accompanied me on the deck last night after dinner.” Captain Fury eyed Tony a bit.

 

“Tony Stark? You wouldn’t happen to be the son of Howard, now would you?” He asked, taking a slow sip of his wine. Tony didn’t miss a beat with his reply.

 

“Maybe at one point, but these days I like to think of myself as independent of him.” Tony met Steve’s eyes for a moment win a smile. “He wasn’t too fond of my aspirations-“

 

“Aspirations having to do with.. other men?” Jeremiah asked, and Peggy let out an audible gasp at her father’s comment. Even Steve knew that mentioning something of  _that_ nature at dinner was one of the most taboo things an elite could do. It almost had him fuming, but Tony, instead of looking offended, took his salad fork- Bucky would later wonder  _how the fuck he knew it was a salad fork_ \- and took a bite of the fresh greens. He refused to admit to himself how good they tasted after not having fine cuisine for so long.

 

“No actually, aspirations outside of weapon manufacturing. You see, I want to fly one day, and manufacturing planes is exactly the way to do it.”

 

“So, you have the brains of your father, I presume.” Tony had almost forgotten about the other people occupying the table before Loki spoke up, his voice smooth and dark. The genius shrugged and took another bite of the heavenly salad.

 

“I mean I suppose so, though many people say I’m not strong enough to succeed without my father’s backing.” Steve knocked his knee against Tony’s in disagreement.

 

“Oh, don’t be so humble, you are surely as strong as a man of Iron!” Thor said joyously, his smile infecting everyone at the table, turning the conversation elsewhere. Throughout the meal, both Tony and Steve continued to sneak looks at each other, and then turn away quickly with a red face when the other caught them. Bucky noticed immediately, shooting a look at Steve while Jeremiah was occupied with talking to the Captain. Steve just shrugged innocently and took a sip of his overly-bubbly champagne (which probably was just a normal amount of bubbly but he was simply used to the cheap stuff.)

 

Soon enough, plates of tender steak were bought out on expensive china, and everyone began to slowly dig in. Steve looked on the side of his plate at all of the forks, forgetting absolutely everything he’d learned. Tony noticed his struggle and leaned over to whisper in the supersoldier’s ear.

 

“Start from the outside and work your way in.” He said, warm breath heating Steve’s already clammy skin. He blushed at the close proximity, but said blush was ignored by everyone at the table except Bucky, and this time, Peggy as well. Her eyes widened and she cleared her throat in surprise. Bucky shot her a look that explicitly meant  _‘don’t say anything; it’ll make sense at some point_ ,’ so she composed herself outwardly, but inside she was freaking out.

 

Soon enough, the conversation was steered back towards Tony.

 

“So where are you living these days? I doubt your father left you anything.” Steve cleared his throat, but Tony, once again, didn’t miss a beat.

 

“Well, at the moment my address is room 513 of the RMS  _Titanic_ , and after that, well… it’ll be wherever the wind takes Bruce and I.” Tony smiled cheekily.

 

“And how is it that you have the means to travel?” Peggy looked like she wanted to bang her head against the table, and Steve couldn’t really blame her. Jeremiah’s questions were so blatantly rude that even Thor must have noticed by then. Yet, Tony still answered.

 

“I do whatever odds and ends I can find. Having a brain doesn’t seem to amount to anything permanent, so I just work when we need money and live day to day.” He answered truthfully. The last time he had a well paying job was in France, and that hadn’t ended so well. “I won my tickets for this beautiful vessel here in perhaps the luckiest game of blackjack I’ve ever played.”

 

“Ah, my brother and I greatly enjoy blackjack.” Thor said, and Loki cracked a small smile.

 

“What can we say? It’s a great game.” Loki chimed in, though Tony felt like he was the kind of trickster to find a very creative way to cheat. Not that he was much higher above that.

 

“Very true… Everything boils down to luck, doesn’t it.” Steve said with a wistful smile that Tony returned immediately.

 

It was safe to say that everyone was enjoying Tony’s company by the time the main course was finished except for Mr. Carter… and maybe even Peggy. The others were roaring with genuine laughter at Tony’s jokes and stories of his time on the road- even the Captain and Loki. Steve’s hand was resting lightly on his thigh, Bucky was slapping him good-naturedly on the back, and everyone was having a good time. So it was only natural that someone would have to ruin it.

 

“-and Bruce pushed me right off the dock so the inn owner wouldn’t see and castrate me for bringing his daughter up to my room.” Tony finished his story, and Thor was laughing so hard he nearly fell out of his seat. Jeremiah had been quiet for far too long- it was only fitting that he chime in right when the dessert menus were being passed around.

 

“Anthony-“ Tony cringed slightly at the use of his first name. “-can you honestly tell me that you’re happy in your… circumstances?” The wine glass paused midway through its journey to the genius’s lips. The table immediately quieted, tension rising from zero to one hundred insanely quickly. Steve moved his hand from Tony’s leg to the table top-

 

right by his steak knife.

 

Peggy’s eyes once again bugged at that, and she took his other hand to squeeze reassuringly, which he returned half-heartedly. Tony cleared his throat and placed down his glass before answering, fingers scratching at his goatee.

 

“Well, why wouldn’t I be? I have the air in my lungs, clothes on my back, and a best friend always by my side.” He regarded Mr. Carter in a way that could be seen as either passive-aggressive or nonchalant. Steve guessed it was the former. “I like the freedom. Sure, I don’t have a house and sometimes not enough money for food, but I have spirit and mirth and a brain, if I do say so myself.” Thor gave him a large smile as he continued. “I have no strings anywhere to tie me to one place, which is exactly why I had the opportunity to be here with you  _fine_ -“ the word fine had a bit of a bite to it that was directed solely at Peggy's father, who looked- well, enraged would be the understatement of the damn century. “people. Just a few nights ago I was sleeping in a run-down motel, and tonight I’m on the finest ship in the world dining on food I haven’t eaten in years. So yes, I’d say I’m quite happy. You never know what hand you’ll be dealt, and I plan on making every good one count.”

 

“Hear, hear.” Loki said with a genuine smile, raising a glass. Steve followed suit with a grin as everyone murmured in agreement.

 

“To making it count.” He smiled sunnily at the beautiful man sitting next to him as he toasted, everyone repeating after him.

 

“To making it count.” Tony said, standing from the table after draining his glass, Steve’s eyes following as everyone took a gulp of whatever alcoholic beverage they were nursing.

 

“You aren’t leaving, are you?” Steve asked, his voice filled with disappointment so obvious it had Peggy shifting uncomfortably in her chair and Bucky smiling like an idiot.

 

Mr. Carter scowled deeply. “It’s time to return to steerage to row with the other slaves.” The genius smirked, holding his hand out for Steve to shake, and trying to ignore the fire that burned where their skin touched. “I hope to see you all around the ship before we reach New York.” He said to everyone after most of them expressed their disdain at him returning to the third class decks, especially Bucky and Thor.

 

“Aw, c’mon Iron Man-“ Bucky said playfully, but Tony just smiled down at him. Steve shot him a look that read as ‘ _I thought you wanted me to stay away from him?’_ and Bucky’s shrug back said  _‘I changed my mind.’_

 

“Can’t, Winter Soldier. Duty calls.” He replied, referencing the man’s famous trek through the north-German winter to return to the base, bidding everyone a final farewell, and leaving the emptying dining room. The blonde’s eyes followed him out as everyone else continued to converse and eventually trickle out as well, and for the first time, Steve noticed the small piece of folded paper in his hand. He scrunched his brows together in curiosity as he un-folded it. On the paper, there were only a few words written in a neat cursive scrawl.

 

“ _Meet me by the clock at the top of the main stairs tomorrow night at ten. I’ll show you a real party._ ” He re-folded the paper and passed it casually under the table to Bucky, who read it as well and gained a huge shit eating grin, nodding.

 

“Something funny over there?” Jeremiah asked sharply, gaining the two men’s attention. Steve looked guiltily to Peggy, who for a reason Steve couldn’t comprehend, refused to gaze upon him. Strange.

 

“No, sir.” He heard Bucky reply, but honestly wasn’t paying much attention anymore. Loki and Thor had left with the Captain, leaving only the four of them at the table.

 

“Then I’m going to ask you to wipe that smirk of your face, James.” Bucky’s smile disappeared in an instant. “I can’t believe you invited that- that  _filth_  to dinner tonight-“ before Steve could speak up, his fiancé actually beat him to it. He had barely heard her voice the entire meal.

 

“Father, he really was quite nice-“ Peggy replied in the meekest voice that Steve had ever heard leave her mouth. Her father turned on her, face tomato red with anger.

 

“Women should be seen and not heard. Keep your pretty little mouth shut!” He seethed, and Steve was almost thankful that the dining room was now empty save for them and a few employees, because now, Steve was mad. Peggy was one of his best friends, and no one would treat her that way, especially not her father.

 

“Don’t you dare speak to her like that.” Steve said, trying to keep his voice level. Bucky’s eyes widened at the fact that Steve was actually standing up against this man, though of course it wasn’t for his own sake.

 

“I can talk to her however the hell I want to!”

 

“Please, just let it go, Steve.” Peggy whispered, obviously just wanting to return to her room. He looked at her father with disdain once more before nodding to her and offering his arm. “Thanks.” She said rising with him, Bucky following suit and walking on Steve’s other side as the trio left Jeremiah alone in the dining room.

 

It was 11:00 by the time Steve returned to his room after dropping Peggy off and wishing her a good night. There was obviously something on her mind, but he decided to just leave it alone and let her come to him.

 

He sat down on the loveseat in the sitting room of his cabin, Bucky taking one of the big overstuffed chairs opposite him. The best friends sat in silence for a few minutes, feeling the rocking of the boat.

 

“So… are you gonna go?” Bucky asked, and Steve looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the planet.

 

“Of course I’m gonna go.” Bucky smiled softly and leaned back, staring at the artfully carved ceiling.

 

“Right.” The silence returned for a bit, before Bucky broke it once again. “I think Peggy knows.” Steve tensed in his seat.

 

“What are you talking about?” The brunette smirked.

 

“I see you playing dumb, Rogers.” Steve just shrugged and played with his fingers in his lap. “I’m surprised her dad didn’t see it, and you’re damn lucky. Peggy looked like she was gonna pass out.” Bucky explained, and Steve put his head in his hands.

 

“Was it really that obvious?”

 

“You had your hand on his leg.”

 

“...damn.”

 

Steve thought for a moment before saying anything else. That’s why Peggy was so uncomfortable after dinner… oh fuck, what had he done?

 

“Bucky I can’t do this to her. I don’t love her but she’s my friend and I don’t want to ruin her life like this-“ The blonde started to panic, but was interrupted by his best friend walking over and sitting at his side throwing an arm around his shoulders.

 

“Look, I think you should just talk to her about it. It might take a bit but I’m sure she’ll come around-“

 

“But that’s not the only problem!” Steve got up and started pacing back and forth. “I  _can’t_ be attracted to Tony. It’s against the fucking law, Buck!”

 

“Since when have you followed the rules?” Argued Bucky. “Look, I was wrong yesterday for telling you to stay away from Tony. You’ve known each other for all of a few  _hours_ and the sexual tension flying off the both of you is insane.” Steve blushed, but Bucky continued. “You weren’t an outside perspective, man. I saw the way you were looking at him all night, and even more so how  _he_ was looking at  _you._ I’ve never seen two people click so fast. To hell with images or fame! I don’t care how much I’m being hypocritical of myself right now. You deserve to be happy, and as much as I hate to admit it, you’re strong enough to take care of yourself.”

 

“...Wow, Buck.” Steve said, trying to process the words that came out of the brunette’s mouth.

 

“Yeah, I have no idea what just came out of my mouth. But it was all true!” Barnes insisted. “The only reason you proposed to Peggy in the first place was because her father told you to, and you were too much of a nooky to say no-“

 

“ _Bucky!”_  Steve said sharply at the use of the word. He was no clean-tongued man himself, but that specific word just ground his gears.

 

“Sorry- but anyway, you didn’t want to marry her in the first place. And I apologize for busting up your ego, Mr. ‘ _I saved the world from a guy who dunked his whole body in non-washable red paint,_ ’ but I don’t think your  _‘dame’_  over there is all too thrilled to be marrying you, either.” Steve didn’t even think before he replied.

 

“So you see it, too.” He whispered, not sure how he felt about the confirmation.

 

“I think everyone sees it, especially her father.” Steve looked at Bucky, a realization hitting him like a giant gold gauntlet with six multicolored stones in it being wielded by a giant purple alien. Which is weirdly specific.

 

“If he didn’t make me propose for her happiness, why would he be so adamant about it?” He asked cracking his knuckles while he thought.

 

“Beats me. But, anyway Steve, I really think you should stick with Tony. I haven’t seen you smile like that since V.E Day, and frankly I’d much rather you be with him than some random call-girl.” Bucky smiled and walked to the door, opening it and starting to walk out. “Night, Stevie.”

 

“Night.” The soldier replied, his mind bogged down by a million thoughts.

 

_April 12, 1946_

 

The next day went by impossibly slowly for Tony. He woke up to a million questions from Bruce and Clint about how his night went, and he regaled them with the epic story of Peggy’s asshole father and all the other people he’d met. He strategically left out the parts about Steve’s hand on his thigh, and how the man came to his defense, and how he was “-coming to the party tonight?” Clint asked, interrupting Tony’s thoughts.

 

“Hm?” Clint rolled his eyes.

 

“I asked if you were gonna invite him to the party tonight.” Bruce punched the blonde lightly in the shoulder with a snorting laugh.

 

“C’mon, what would Captain America want to do at a poor people’s party-“

 

“You seem to forget that Steve was almost as poor as us until the end of the war, Brucie-Bear.” Tony defended. “Yeah, he’s coming.” His friend raised an eyebrow and looked sideways at Clint, who was smirking. “What?”

 

“Oh, nothing.” Clint said with a sigh, getting to his feet and brushing off his slacks. “I’ll see you two losers tonight. Tasha and I have some-“ he cleared his throat and smiled deviously. “-important business to attend to.” Steve and Bruce said goodbye as the other man left the room, shutting the door behind him. They waited until Clint’s footsteps had retreated far enough that they couldn’t be heard, and then Bruce basically lit up like a Christmas tree.

 

“Sooooo how did it feel to get a blowjob from Captain America? Tell me the whole megillah.” Tony blushed and Bruce laughed at his discomfort.

 

“No blowjob, just his hand on my goddam  _thigh_  for half the meal!” Tony fell back on his bed, pulling the pillow over his face and screaming into it as Bruce laughed and patted his friend’s stomach.

 

“Oh, you poor lovesick fool.” He sighed, and Tony shot up, brow creased.

 

“I am  _not_ lovesick.” He muttered, pouting like a kicked puppy. Bruce looked skeptical.

 

“Oh c’mon, I’m just bustin’ your chops. Did you  _like_ his patriotic hand on your thigh?” Yes.

 

“...no” Bruce cocked his head to the side and raised a single eyebrow in disbelief. “...yes.” He nodded as if that was the answer he was looking for.

 

“Well it’s nice to know you’re still as into men as you’ve been into women. And when I say  _into women,_ you know what I mean-“ Bruce teased, and Tony smacked him with his pillow. He couldn’t lie- the change in mood from his best friend made him happy. Yesterday’s Bruce was not the usual one.

 

“Shut up- I haven’t slept around that much-“

 

“The innkeeper’s daughter?” Tony stuttered to defend himself, but all it sounded like was a garbled mess of syllables that, try as he might, Bruce couldn’t discern.

 

“...I actually told that story at dinner.” Tony admitted, looking away from his best friend and to the door.

 

“Sounds like a good time- I bet Steve liked it.” Tony smiled and swung his feet off the bed, but suddenly stopped, his mood doing a 180 when he remembered that Steve had a fiancé who was actually very nice- how he wanted to hate her, so very much, but he just couldn’t. Steve didn’t seem so into her, either, though, which was Tony’s issue. He couldn’t help but wonder why he was marrying her when he seemed much more interested in  _laying his big, calloused hand on Tony’s motherhecking thigh._ Maybe it was because he was scared to be attracted to men? Tony himself never had that fear, mostly because he just wanted to stick it to his father, and found that his attraction to men was a perfect tool. But how could he  _not_ be attracted to men if they had Steve’s eyes, his mouth, his hair, his laugh, his voice, his ass, his  _everything._

 

“Fuck he’s hot. Tell me why it’s illegal to be gay again?” Tony asked that question at least once a week, but Bruce always answered it faithfully.

 

“Because translators misinterpreted the Latin words in the Bible that said ‘ _man shall not lay with boy_ ’ and instead put it down as ‘ _man shall not lay with another man._ ’ so people think it’ll send them to hell.” He said calmly, stroking Tony’s back comfortingly. The other man groaned.

 

“Why can’t people just get the fuck over themselves?”

 

“Because that would require actual intelligence and it seems like we’re the only ones who have that.”

 

“...why are you always right.” Bruce smiled.

 

“Because I have more life experience.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

 

“Of course I do, Tones.” The two laughed until the room lapsed into a comfortable silence.

 

“...he’s meeting me on the grand staircase at 10:00 tonight… I might as well just buy the farm now.” Tony lay back, his knees bent around the edge of the bed frame, feet brushing the floor. “I don’t know how I’ve fallen for someone this fast… it can’t be healthy. Either that, or it’s not real.” Bruce leaned back next to him, turning on his side to meet his best friend of his entire life’s conflicted eyes.

 

“Or maybe it’s completely real.” He said with a smile. Tony just scoffed.

 

“You’re such a sap.”

 

The rest of the day was really uneventful, the friends just wandered the ship for a few hours, made some friends- a guy named Peter, but he went by Quill was extremely laid back and hilarious, but Tony felt like he wouldn’t be the best person to have on his side in a life-or-death situation. He had a lot of feelings, and really liked to express them. They also had lunch with a redhead named Wanda and her husband Vince, who she called “Vis.” She explained that it was because the two had known each other their entire lives, and when they were little she couldn’t pronounce his name, so she called him Vis instead. They were nice people; second class if he remembered correctly. Then there was King T’Challa and his little sister, Shuri. They were traveling first class but preferred to hang out on the lower decks because, as Shuri explained it, the people were “less stuffy.” Tony went a little crazy talking tech with her. For someone so young, she really was quite knowledgeable. Him and Bruce finally ended the day hanging out with none other than Thor- the man from the previous night.

 

Him and Bruce had really hit it off, sharing their interest in space and the possibility of alien life and separate dimensions or worlds. It was fun for Tony to see Bruce get to geek out about his space stuff- it didn’t happen very often. The smile on his best friend’s face was more than genuine when the pair had to leave to prepare for the party that would commence in a few hours. Thor made Bruce promise him that they would meet up again before they docked, which the scientist agreed to wholeheartedly.

 

The pair laughed as they fell into their cabin later that night, having enjoyed spending the day relaxing around the ship and appreciating the opportunity they were given. Tony only thought about Steve 999,999 times instead of 1,000,000. He was proud of himself, at least.

 

“Hey guys.” Tasha said casually, stowing her bag under hers and Clint’s bunk.

 

“Hey.” Tony said, still giggling and pushing at Bruce with his shoulder. Tasha looked upon the friends with a light smile. “Where’s Clint?” He asked, finally pulling himself together.

 

“Down in the dining room. The party’s about to start, so he-“

 

“Shit shit SHIT!” Tony said, looking at the small clock mounted on the wall.  _‘9:56’_ “Oooooh fuck I’m gonna be late!” He scrambled to the door, pulling it open and disappeared down the hallway without another word.

 

He couldn’t be late picking up Steve- he was the one who asked the other man to come, godammit!

 

The genius panted as he ran down hallway after hallway, finally making it to the designated staircase. He leaned on the edge of the banister, head down as he attempted to catch his breath. Hey, navigating his way from third to first class was a feat, especially because he had to dodge guards since technically third-class people weren’t supposed to be there. Needless to say Tony ignored the dirty looks and whispers that were directed towards him by haughty rich people filing past on their ways to post-meal poker games in the smoking lounge. He wasn’t exactly aware of anything going on around him until a solid hand was placed on the small of his back. He tensed for a moment before Steve’s familiar voice filled his ear, and a heat spread from where said hand was placed.

 

“10:02- I expected you to be a bit more punctual, Mr. Stark.” Tony could almost hear the smirk in the other man’s voice that made him swallow tightly.

 

“Don’t get your panties in a twist Rogers- that’s the closest to on time as I’ve ever been in my life.” He finally stood up after regaining his composure, and instantly lost it again at the sight of Steve in- god forbid-  _normal_  clothing. If he looked good in a suit, he looked like a damn  _god_ in normal slacks and a casual button-up shirt. The soldier caught him looking and glanced down at himself bashfully.

 

“I, uh, didn’t know what to wear so I just went casual-“ He scratched the back of his neck and blushed a bit in nervousness. All Tony could do was smile like an absolute fool.

 

“No, you look perfect-“ his eyes widened, and Steve’s blush darkened. “I-I mean, you’re wearing the perfect thing for this party. It’s casual, you know, poor people don’t usually have tuxes or shit like that and everyone will just be, uh, dancing and… you know what? Let’s just go.” Tony cut off his rambling by grabbing Steve’s hand and pulling him in the direction of the small inter-class staircase that was supposed to be for ‘ _crew only_.’

 

Neither man acknowledged that by the time they reached the dining room converted to a jamboree they were still hand in hand. Tony merely appreciated that even though Steve’s hands had been used to fight in countless battles and had probably been cut and marred beyond what should’ve been repairable, his serum made it so the skin was smooth and warm, unlike his own which was scarred and calloused. He only let go when he spotted Bruce and Clint fighting through the crowd to reach them, and even then their hands were so close he could feel the heat of the soldier’s appendage ghosting his own.

 

“Ah, so we finally meet. It’s a pleasure to make the acquaintance of the great soldier who’s managed to somehow steal my best friend’s h-“ Tony elbowed Bruce in the ribs. “-ead. Head, he’s been, uh,” The man coughed while Steve raised a brow and looked over to the inventor, who just glanced around at the dancing and drunk people innocently. “He’s been talking about you a lot.” Bruce laughed. Clint’s mouth was hanging open in awe.

 

“H-holy shit, I’m in the same room as Captain America what the  _fuck_.” He said, making Steve blush for about the third time that night- he wasn’t exactly a glitterati. “Thanks for, you know, stopping the Nazis from killing everyone.” He looked around for a moment, and then leaned closer to the supersoldier. “My girlfriend is Jewish, so we’ve been trying to keep her under the radar. Dyed her hair, and got her a new name.” Clint paused, deciding what to say. “I’m just glad we don’t have to run anymore.”

 

“I’m just glad I was able to make a difference.” Steve said bashfully, obviously still uncomfortable with the praise even after years of it. Clint nodded and turned to Tony.

 

“Good find, man.” He said simply, before he leaned in as if to say something for only Tony to hear, but thanks to his super-hearing his could understand it clear as day- “if you don’t make a pass at him, I will.” He then clapped the sputtering inventor on the shoulder and lead him and Steve ( _who was trying to stop his burning blush_ ) further into the party room.

 

People parted in the path of the blonde, quieting and murmuring excitedly amongst themselves. Even the bagpipe and banjo players stopped when they caught sight of the soldier. Tony felt instant jealousy, which he honestly felt every time someone even looked Steve’s way, which was fucking dumb because he was engaged. Somehow he kept forgetting that.

 

“Guys come on, he’s a person too, and he’s here with me. Tonight Captain America is an honorary poor person!” He yelled, and got a room full of cheers in return, the party recommencing with only a few of Steve’s ‘fans’ coming up to him. Soon after starting to dance and scream with the crowd, him and Tony found two seats in the corner and sat down to take a breather. Tony handed him a glass of a dark beer, but Steve declined.

 

“The serum’s great, but not so good if you like getting drunk.” He said with a smirk as Tony downed half the brew in two gulps, burping loudly when he finished.

 

“Damn, all that strength and you don’t have any way to escape real life for a bit?” Tony said, smiling lightly. Steve looked at all the dancing people fondly, tapping his foot to the drum beat. “I haven’t had a bender in months and I can hardly handle it. I don’t know how you do it.”

 

“I’d say this whole thing is an escape-“ He turned to Tony, something in his eye that the genius couldn’t place, before he saw a hand appear on the blonde’s shoulder.

 

“You’re damn right about that. Jesus, this party is nuts.” The voice of Bucky Barnes filled Tony’s ear, and made him deflate in disappointment. Not that he didn’t like Bucky, it was more that he REALLY liked Steve. Said supersoldier turned around in surprise.

 

“What are you doing here? I thought you were with Thor-“ Bucky waved a hand dismissively.

 

“I was, but Peggy’s asshole of a dad yelled at him to get back to work until he got so annoyed he just apologized and left, even though it wasn’t his shift. Acting like Thor’s spent time bustin’ rocks or something.” At the thought of Peggy’s father, both Bucky and Steve visibly bristled, and Tony could imagine that he did as well. “Anyway…” The brunette attempted to diffuse the situation by ruffling Tony’s sweaty hair fondly. “Hand me Mr. Morals’s beer; God knows he ain’t gonna drink it, and this is as good a time as any to get sauced.” Tony grinned lopsidedly as he handed the glass over, Bucky taking it gratefully and almost draining the thing in three sips.

 

“Good, right?” Tony asked, Bucky nodding enthusiastically.

 

“What the fuck do they put in this?” He asked, draining the cup as Tony shook his head, and proceeded to take Steve by the bicep, hauling him to his feet.

 

“What?” The soldier grinned with a mischievous glint in his dark eyes.

 

“Dance off.”

 

“Bucky, no.”

 

“Bucky yes. C’mon, doll- I’m sure Tony would get a kick out of it. Besides, you’re a right jive bomber.” Tony looked at Steve expectantly, brow raised and arms crossed over his chest at the blonde’s obvious discomfort.

 

“Not tonight-“ Steve started, before being interrupted.

 

“Why does Captain pretty boy look so dejected?” Tasha’s voice piped up from out of nowhere next to Tony, almost giving him a heart attack. He grasped his chest as Bruce and Clint arrived behind her.

 

“Jesus, Tasha!” He laughed, but the woman just kept her questioning gaze, gesturing to Steve and Bucky, who were still avidly arguing with the brunette continuing to try and pull his friend back out onto the dance floor. “Bucky challenged Steve to some dance-off or something, and our great Captain here is too scared to do it.” This got Steve’s attention, and he turned away from his argument to address the shorter man.

 

“I am  _not_ scared.” It was almost comical to see the giant, beautiful guy pouting like a child, but Tony just saw it as endearing. The genius stood up, backed by several ‘ _ooh’_ s from his friends, and walked forward until he was looking up into the man’s bright electric blue eyes.

 

“Then prove it,  _Mr. America_.” The words took on an almost animalistic tone, as if he’d purred them.

 

“ _Fine._ ” Steve snapped, turning away and back to Bucky. “Let’s just get this over with-“

 

“Oh, I didn’t mean with me.” The other soldier said innocently.

 

“Then who-“

 

“Tony! Dance with the man!” Bruce said, a devious smile making its way onto his face. Tony could feel himself pale. Tony Stark and dancing absolutely did  _not_ mix-

 

unless he was drunk.

 

“Uh, no. I’m good.” He declined, taking a step back and toward the table.

 

“Hypocrite!” Clint yelled, hands cupped around his mouth.

 

“I’m a crummy dancer, bird brain!” He hissed toward the offending man, who just continued to have his arm around Tasha’s shoulder, shrugging and looking carefree. Steve sneezed just then, and with a completely straight face, Clint said “God Bless America.” Tasha bursted out laughing, as did Bucky.

 

Tony shot a pleading look at Bruce, but was steadfast ignored. He let out a harsh breath. “Fine. Fine, let’s go.” He said, not caring about the whistles he heard from Bruce- it must’ve been Bruce- as he took the supersoldier by the bicep and lead him onto the crowded dance floor.

 

“I’m really bad!” Steve yelled above the noise, but he started moving anyway, laughing and spinning and tripping over his own feet. He looked like nothing less than a normal, dorky, gorgeous man, and Tony couldn’t help but feel a rush of warmth fill him at the sight of the blonde’s joy.

 

“Beautiful.” He muttered under his breath, moving as well, not noticing Steve’s blush and totally forgetting the fact that as an enhanced person, he also had enhanced hearing. Boldly, the blonde took Tony by the hand and spun him, the two laughing together as said man tripped on his shoelace, and was saved by Steve curling an arm around his lower back, holding him in a dip position. For a few glorious moments, Tony pressed their sweaty foreheads together, closing his eyes and just enjoying the fact that he was there, with Steve. He could feel the other man’s fast breaths on his lips and nose, and the tightening of his hand around the genius’s hip.

 

All the noise around the pair and all the other dancing people faded away until they were just there- the two of them, standing under a single spotlight in a ballroom of stars. Their smiles never ceased, even as Steve pulled Tony up so he was standing again, and parted their foreheads to look Tony in the eyes. The brunette’s high heart rate had nothing to do with the dancing, and everything to do with the fact that Steve’s unoccupied hand had moved up to brush along his cheek.

 

“Beautiful.” Steve repeated Tony’s comment from just moments ago, but it felt like he had just reinvented it.

 

Both men were so invested in each other that they didn’t notice their friends smiling and gossiping amongst each other, ( _lots of the comments being “they’re awful at hiding this-“ or “how does the world not see that Steve is the gayest piece of-_ “ _and luckily “they better be glad they have such accepting friends-“_ ) or Peggy Carter peeking through the door after having followed Bucky to the party. She was suspicious the moment Steve said he was going to meet Loki for dinner that night in his room; she knew him, and Steve was dreadful at lying. At least now she saw why he needed to in the first place.

 

The woman couldn’t help the pang she felt at seeing Steve look so lovingly into Tony- another  _man’s_  eyes. It was there at dinner the previous evening, plain as day, and here it was again. She didn’t want to marry him, no, but they were still best friends, or so she thought. Friends don’t keep things like that from each other, but even through how mad she was at him, she could see why. Being homosexual would ruin his “all American Man” image, and this little display wasn’t helping him keep that image up. He was lucky that most of the people in the party were too drunk to notice how close Tony was to him, or how hard the blonde was gripping his hip.

 

So she left. She turned and walked out, back to her first class quarters, right back to her dad. Thoughts of what she would do raced through her mind as she climbed flight after flight of stairs. The elevator would be too fast, and she wanted to make sure she really wanted to do what she was thinking. She stopped outside the mahogany door, hand on the doorknob, chest heaving, before she eased it open and stepped inside the room.

 

“Father-“ Peggy said as soon as she closed the door to the suite. Jeremiah was smoking one of his fancy, disgusting cigars in a plush red chair by a porthole. The only sign that he heard her was a faint, angry sounding grunt. She said the words before she could talk herself out of it. “I’m not going to marry Steve.” That got his attention.

 

“Excuse me?” He asked darkly, standing from the chair and discarding the cancer stick in his hand. Peggy gulped, but tried her best not to cower back as he walked toward her menacingly. She was a soldier; she could do this.

 

“I  _said-_ “ She looked right into her father’s eyes. “I’m not going to marry Steve.” He slapped her, and she cowered back, holding her face and staring at her father in shock.

 

“Margaret, you know the money’s gone.” He said, using mock gentleness and trying to walk toward her again, though she just stepped back until her spine was against the wall. He leaned over her, breath smelling of smoke, suffocating her.

 

“...yes, because you gambled it all away-“ He punched the wall next to her head, causing her to let out a frightened shriek.

 

“Do you really want to see me working in a factory?” He yelled, spit raining onto her face as she gasped in fear, shaking her head spastically.

 

“No, sir.” He took a step back, breathing deeply, obviously trying to compose himself. After a few tense moments of silence, he spoke again.

 

“Sweetheart, you know I’m doing this for you.” He sighed, bringing a hand to his forehead and walking back to his chair, picking up his discarded cigar and bringing it back to his lips, thick smoke exiting his nose and mouth. “All we have left is our name, and that’s the only card we have to play. Steven’s money will put us back on top-“

 

“But I don’t love him, and he’s in love with someone else.”

 

“And who is that-“ He questioned, before the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He squeezed his fists and dug his nails into his palms to keep his rage and disgust in check. “Stark.”

 

“Yes.” She whispered, refusing to let the tears spill onto her face as she massaged her tender cheek. Jeremiah scoffed, flicking the end of his cigar to knock off the ash.

 

 “Of course Captain America has to be a faggot. No matter, he’ll stay with you, sweetheart.” He said, beginning to formulate a plan in his head,

 

“But he’s not-“ she tried to refute, but her father wasn’t having it.

 

“Margaret Carter. You  _will_ marry Steven Rogers. You two are engaged, and will be married the week after we reach America. This discussion is over.” He said, giving his daughter a look that dared her to defy him.

 

“Yes, sir.” She said quietly, opening the door and walking out and across the hall to her own room. The moment she got inside, the tears that had been building up spilled over, and she sobbed, back sliding down the door until she was sitting on the ground, cold wood against her spine. But she made a choice. Her father could control her, but he would  _not_  control Steve.

 

As all of that happened, the people downstairs were none-the-wiser; they still danced and sang and talked and  _loved_.

 

Clint kissed Tasha in a way that had Bruce jokingly telling them to get a room, Bucky was stood drunkenly on a table singing one of the war songs, Shuri was hiding from her brother who wasn’t trying very hard to search for her, and Steve and Tony were still dancing together joyously, wishing for the night to never end until they told each other goodnight at the base of the elevator.

 

“I had a great time tonight.” Tony said with a grin, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

 

“So did I… probably the most I’ve had since the pub parties back on the base.” Steve replied, supporting a trashed Bucky on his arm who laughed drunkenly.

 

“Y’re right.” He slurred, earning a booming laugh from his best friend.

“Okay, I gotta get this one back to his room before he decides to chuck up all over me.” Steve teased, reaching over to push a strand of hair off of Bucky’s forehead, which the other man protested to by weakly batting the appendage away.

 

“No, makes me l’k cool.” He said, head rolling back onto his shoulders so he was facing up. Tony chuckled.

 

“Do you maybe want to take a walk around the top deck tomorrow?” Tony asked as the pair boarded the elevator, hand on Steve’s shoulder. The blonde smiled, the skin around his brilliant eyes crinkling.

 

“Wouldn’t miss it. Meet at the bow deck, say, 11?” He asked as the doors began to close.

 

“Perfect.” Tony smiled as Steve disappeared behind the grate and made his journey upwards, Bucky repeating “ _God Bless America”_ over and over again. That smile wouldn’t leave his face as he got back to his room, endured endless teasing from Bruce and Clint, even Tasha as well, and lay his head down to sleep.

 

_April 13, 1946_

 

Steve hummed as he got ready the next morning, a calm smile on his face. Light streamed in through the porthole that looked out upon an endless sea, the glare from the sun dusting it enough to make it glitter. The rocking of the ship was slight- just barely noticeable… it comforted the soldier. He hadn’t felt so completely at peace in some time-

 

_Knock, knock, knock_

 

“Steve?” A soft feminine voice reached his ears from the other side of the door, and he stood up to open it.

 

‘ _It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve spoken to her-‘_ Steve thought, closing his cabin door as Peggy walked gracefully into his room, shoulders squared and hands folded in front of her. For a brief, nearly nonexistent second he thought that maybe it was Tony banging on the door to go for their walk-

 

Except it was only 9:30, and Tony didn’t know where his room was. That didn’t stop him hoping, though.

 

“What can I do for ya?” He asked breezily, gesturing for her to sit next to him on the couch he’d just sat on. She did so incredibly stiffly, and Steve could immediately tell that something was wrong.

 

“I-I” She stuttered, not meeting his eyes and huffing annoyedly “I don’t know how to say this, um.” She looked at her hands clasped tightly in her lap.

 

“You know you can talk to me about anything.” Steve offered, but she cut him off.

 

“I know, I know, but-“ she bit her lip. “I saw you and Tony last night, Steve.” The soldier’s eyebrows shot into his hairline, and his heart started beating rapidly.

 

“Wh-what?” Her smile had no joy in it.

 

“In the third class ballroom. I saw you and his friends. I-I followed Bucky down there, and saw you two dancing.” Steve’s mouth was opening and closing in a way akin to a fish out of water. “I saw you at dinner, too. I even saw it on the deck the first day.”

 

“I can explain-“ she held up a hand.

 

“You don’t have to. I think it was pretty clear what was going on.” She said, finally meeting his eyes which he was surprised to find were full of tears.

 

“Peggy-“ He reached to her hesitantly and wiped a drop from her cheek.

 

“I-I’m not mad that he’s a man, Steve.”

 

“Wha-“

 

“I mean, I was at first, I’ll admit. But after the shock wore off, it was more that you didn’t tell me about him, that you trusted Bucky enough to let him see but not me.”

 

“I didn’t tell you because we’re engaged. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to admit it to myself… I still don’t.” Steve admitted, memory flickering to showcase his view of Tony’s face as they danced the night before. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Peggs, I still don’t.” She smiled weakly.

 

“That’s what I love about you, Steve Rogers. Always willing to put someone else’s feelings before your own.” She sighed. “You’re my best friend, and I want you to know that… if you want to end this engagement, I’ll support it.” He sputtered, and dropped his hand to grasp hers.

 

“I don’t know what to say-“ she squeezed his large hand.

 

“A simple thank-you would suffice.” He pulled her in for a loving hug.

 

“I don’t deserve a friend like you, Peggy Carter.” She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck.

 

“Damn right you don’t.” She whispered and released him, coming to a stand. “You deserve to love who you want, and if Tony Stark is that person, then to hell with anything or anyone else. I’m just happy you finally found the right partner.” As she walked out, she turned to say one more thing. “I’ll see you at the deck lounge for tea at three. Don’t be late.” She smiled as she exited.

 

Steve looked over to the clock mounted to the wall and deflated from his emotional high. It was only 9:45. Still more than an hour before he would meet Tony.

 

The soldier played with his fingers for a few moments, processing what had changed in the last ten minutes, before standing up and making his way to his trunk. He threw open the lid and dug through his belongings, not caring about rumpling all his new stiff suits and shirts. All he wanted was-

 

“There you are-“ The blonde muttered to himself, smile still soft on his face, pulling a graphite covered sketchbook out as well as well as three pencils that were at least half the size they were when he received them. The smallest of which was his charcoal one- it came in handy when he was drawing countless smoky battlefields as a coping mechanism for the war. But these last few pages were filled with drawings of people, not just people in situations. Steve brought the tools over to the chair, sat down, and started to draw the time away, his hands creating the regal shape of sharp dark eyes and a well-kept goatee.

 

Soon enough he glanced back at the clock and he had  _five fucking minutes_ until he had to meet Tony. He gathered his things, leaving the pencils but taking the sketchbook with him, if only by instinct. He threw the door to his cabin open, and sprinted down the hall.

 

Tony basically fell out of his cabin when he left to meet Steve, Tasha slamming the door behind him, yelling angry things at him in Russian while Bruce and Clint’s roaring laughter filled the background. He stood up with a beaming smile on his face and brushed off his slacks, making his way down the scarcely occupied corridor. Most patrons who stayed there were up on the third-class deck, enjoying the cold sunshine and sea spray. Which was exactly where we was going.

 

The man refused to admit that he left early to give himself a time cushion because of the whole ‘ _picking up Steve late for the party yesterday_ ’ thing. No, it was just because he was excited to see the blonde. Fuck, he was already way too attached to the other man than he would have been. It may have been a problem, but hey, Tony wasn’t complaining. He greeted some acquaintances as he passed them, climbing the stairs two at a time in his haste to see Steve.

 

It had been years since he felt so un-guiltily happy and at ease. His father had hardly entered his mind since meeting Steve on the stern of the ship.

 

He shivered at the memory.

 

It wasn’t the engineer’s best moment.

 

After finally traversing the hallways and passages, Tony emerged into the frosty April sun. The wind whipped at his threadbare jacket, but he couldn’t feel the cold. The man made his way to the bow deck, looking over his shoulder before ducking between the bars on the guarding fence and walking out onto the crew deck to the very tip of the boat. He gripped the cold rail, but this time on the right side of it. The view was nothing short of breathtaking, but he couldn’t help but feel it would be even better in the evening.

 

It would be even better in the evening with Steve.

 

Fuck, he was hopeless. Absolutely hopeless.

 

Tony backed away from the view and turned to go back onto the passenger part of the deck, where he saw the back of a tall, ripped, blonde soldier’s head. With a smile, the brunette made his way over to the other man, reaching up to tap him on the shoulder.

 

“You ready to work off all the calories from those beers last night?” Steve turned and smiled, eyes bright.

 

“You know it.” And the two set off walking around the deck, talking about everything under the sun. They learned so much about each other, it almost scared the genius how much he was disclosing; the only person he’d ever really opened up to was Bruce. But Steve made it so easy, you know? He was supportive and knew what to say.

 

“-I’ve been on my own, well, I’ve been on my own with Bruce for about two years now.” Tony said after they’d walked about a mile around the ship, just wandering through throngs of relaxed people enjoying themselves outside. “There was nothing for me in New York except bad memories, so I left. Bruce and I took a job shoveling coal on a cargo ship, and made our way over to Europe smack in the middle of the action. Shoveling coal was an entirely new concept for me.” The brunette chuckled softly and came to a stop at a bench, gesturing for Steve to sit beside him. “But I feel like all we’ve talked about is me. And as much as I love that, you’re pretty interesting yourself.” Steve chuckled and pushed at the other man lightly with a broad shoulder.

 

“I like hearing about you, Tony.” He stated simply, looking into the genius’ dark eyes.

 

“Can’t imagine why.” The man smirked and leaned back, putting his hands behind his head. “Tell me a story, Steve. Tell me about you.”

 

“Well.” The blonde thought for a moment. “I grew up a skinny, short, sickly asthmatic kid in Brooklyn. Bucky and I became best friends right before my mom and pop died… they were both in the military.” Tony listened intently, leaning minutely closer to the other man as he spoke. “I wanted to join the army to live up to them, try to prove myself… especially after Bucky was made a Sargent. So… I lied on the papers. Maybe… five times or so?”

 

“Goody-Two-Shoes lied on a government application?” Tony asked, eyebrow raised. Steve chuckled and fingered the worn pages of the notebook in his lap.

 

“Not my proudest moments, I’ll admit, but I was so desperate. I tried over and over again, but got turned down for my health every single time. Until I went to a recruitment center and this man, Doctor Erskine found me. Gave me a shot, put me in training. Long story short I got injected with the super soldier serum, fought the leader of HYDRA, and… here I am.” Steve finished.

 

“And… where does Peggy fit into all of that?” Tony asked, Steve looking out onto the water.

 

“She was one of my commanders… well, an Agent. She was always there for me through the fighting, keeping my head level and reminding me of what really mattered. She was-  _is_ \- one of my best friends.” The pair was silent for a moment, letting the soldier’s words hang in the air.

 

“And… you fell in love?” The question seemed to catch Steve off guard, but it should’ve been expected.

 

“Well, I-I thought we did…” some unsaid words hung in the air  _until I met you_ . “Her father told me to marry her, and I couldn’t think of any reason to say no. She’s great, and… I  _do_  love her…” He trailed off, ghosting his hand over his companion’s. “Just not romantically.” He didn’t get to mention the fact that he didn’t  _have_ to love her romantically anymore.

 

“Steve, I-“ Tony cut himself off, seeing something over the blonde’s shoulder. There was a boy climbing the rail that went up to the first class deck about fifteen feet up, and he looked a little too sure of himself for Tony’s taste. He was climbing from bar to bar, sometimes skipping two or three at a time. He was almost at the top when Steve asked Tony what he was looking at, and then he was on his feet.

Tony’s heart nearly stopped as the kid slipped from the railing and fell back onto the deck with a thud. The genius ran foreword, pushing past a few people who didn’t look like they were about to start helping, and flipped the kid over, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when he saw the teen breathing.

 

“Oh, thank God.” Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. He looked at the boy, who could be no older than 16, sprawled next to him. He had a mop of curly brown hair and wore faded slacks with the suspenders dangling from his hips, grey shirt torn and stained.

 

“Is he okay?” Steve asked, running to Tony’s side. The engineer couldn’t ignore the electricity he felt emanating from where the supersoldier placed a hand on the small of his back, their conversation from just seconds ago still fresh in his mind.

 

“I don’t feel so good...” The kid said after a loud cough erupted from his mouth and he sat up with a weak smile. “That probably wasn’t a very great idea…” he said sheepishly, refusing to look up into the older mens’ eyes. “But I’ll be fine. I’ve fallen off of taller things.” Tony shook his head with a smile.

 

“That’s probably not the smartest hobby, kid.” Steve said, and the kid’s eyes widened and his head shot up to stare at Steve full on, embarrassment from moments ago forgotten.

 

“You’re, y-you’re Captain America!” The boy exclaimed brightly. Tony chuckled when Steve groaned good-naturedly.

 

“I go by Steve Rogers at the moment, kid.” He said, pulling the younger man to his feet with a smile.

 

“If you’re gonna keep tryina get on the upper deck, you gotta watch for the black-and-whites, and climbing the rails isn’t the best way to stay out of their sight. Be more careful next time, okay Spider-Man?” Tony advised, clapping the kid on the back affectionately. The teen just laughed and puffed out his chest mockingly.

 

“I go by Peter Parker at the moment, sir. I’ll keep the advice in mind.” He said, before thanking the pair once again and turning to run and disappear around a corner, likely to make more trouble.

 

Tony and Steve watched him scamper off with identically fond smiles on their faces before continuing to stroll around the deck in a calm silence. More than once the brunette had a strong urge to reach over and grasp the blue-eyed man’s hand that was mere inches away from his own, but he stopped himself.

 

“Hey, so I never… I never got to really heart to heart thank you for, you know…” Tony walked to the nearest rail and leaned his back against it with arms crossed over his chest, eyes downcast. “saving my life a few days ago.” Steve chuckled lightly and took the genius’s chin in between his thumb and pointer finger, gently angling the other man’s face towards his own.

 

“I meant what I said back there. If you’d’ve jumped, so would I.” The blonde said softly, removing his hand to brush through his hair and look over his shoulder, paranoid.

 

“I know, I get that, I felt like I needed to give you an explanation.” Tony turned to look out over the water, and Steve joined him, pressing their biceps together.

 

“I’m listening.”

 

“Well… it was a lot of things, I guess.” He started slowly. “I was out on the deck, enjoying the night and suddenly it felt like the water was calling to me. I would be able to escape being poor, see my mother…” he gave a stiff, sarcastic laugh which Steve didn’t react to. “The whole reason I left my old life was because I couldn’t love who I wanted, I couldn’t do anything I wanted and all I could ever be was a disappointment to my father and an outcast to the ‘ _first class_ ’ community… I felt like I was in the middle of a full room  _screaming_  at the top of my lungs and nobody could hear me…”

 

“Tony-“ Steve said, then hesitated. “I know I haven’t been ‘ _upper class_ ’ for very long…” After quickly checking to see that the deck was empty, he grasped Tony’s hand tightly. “but I know how you feel.”

 

“It’s awful. I couldn’t stand it. And I know what you want to say” The inventor scoffed “‘ _poor little rich boy, what could HE have to worry about?_ ” He could feel the blonde’s sharp eyes on his as he pushed away from the rail to pace back and forth. “But I refused to be forced into a life I don’t want. All I wanted was freedom.”

 

“And now you have it, yeah?” Tony shrugged.

 

“Mostly.” Steve nodded and gripped his book closer, making the brunette raise an eyebrow and smirk. “And what, pray tell, is in that little boy ya got there?” The soldier’s eyes widened and he clutched the book closer to his wide chest. Tony sauntered to him and snatched it out of his hand to the sound of the other man’s weak protests.

 

“Wait-“ Tony paid him no mind as he flipped the cover open and looked at the first page.

 

“I didn’t know you were an artist…” The first pages were obviously sketches from the war; battlefields and trenches, lots of landscapes in general. But a few pages in, there was one sketch that really stood out. It was of an ape on a unicycle balanced on a tightrope. The ape was dressed in the Captain America uniform and holding an umbrella. It was amazing. “These are actually… pretty damn good.” Tony smiled proudly when Steve’s face turned bright red. The pair walked to the wall, sitting on a chaise lounge to look at the supersoldier’s sketches.

 

After the ape, most of the illustrations were of people, up close. There were a lot of pained expressions, but one of them was happy. It was of a group of men, seemingly in a pub laughing at some unheard joke. Tony recognized one of the men to be Bucky, so he assumed it was Steve’s group of hand-picked fighters, the Howling Commandos. He caught how the blonde smiled at the picture, despite the smudged charcoal signifying a rush job. A few pages later, the engineer found something that surprised him.

 

“Oh well well  _well_.” He tutted, coming across a portrait of a woman, naked all except for an army attendant’s cap. She had short hair and large eyes and lashes, her face showing something mysterious. He flipped a few more pages and found more illustrations of the same woman. “You liked her, I’m guessing?” Tony could feel the heat of Steve’s blush from his seat a few inches away.

 

“She worked on one of the bases… she was actually my first kiss.” The inventor looked at him with a doubtful look on his face. Steve laughed, loosening up. “I’m serious! Look, look at her hands. Look how on one hand, the fingers are curled, and on the other they’re straight.” It was quite obvious after he pointed it out. “See, one of her arms was paralyzed, I never did get that story out of her. But she was a fascinating subject, though. French- lived there until she was around twenty. Used to be a model for painters.” Tony remembered his time in France fondly.

 

“Did you ever draw men?” Tony asked casually, but Steve shook his head.

 

“By the time I got around to drawing portraits, I was already Captain America, and I couldn’t have it  _tarnishing my All-American image_ ,” He put the words in air quotes and scoffed at them. “Or at least that’s what my manager said. I wish I never woulda listened to him.” Tony looked more, running his fingers gingerly over the lines.

 

“You really see people.”

 

“I see you.” Steve said softly. Tony smirked.

 

“And what do you see?” The words hung thickly in the air for a few moments.

 

“You wouldn’t have jumped.” The genius looked away shyly, trying to hide the surprise on his face. Steve glanced down at his watch, eyes widening. “Oh my go- I’m so sorry Tony, but I have to run.” The watch on the blonde’s wrist read ‘2:56’, and he was supposed to meet Peggy and her father for tea at 3.

 

“O-okay… I’ll see you-“ Tony said, still recovering from his partner’s last words. Steve squeezed his hand quickly before taking off down the deck to the first class lounge.

 

Steve arrived soon after, and proceeded to gently push open the door to the empty balcony-lounge. The afternoon sun streamed in, coating the figures of Peggy and her father, who were already seated. His former fiancé smiled sweetly at him, which he easily returned.

 

“So sorry I’m late.” Steve said as he sat down in the last available chair. “Is Bucky-“

 

“I knocked on the door, but all I heard was a tired curse. I think he’s-“ Steve widened his eyes and glanced at a curious looking Jeremiah. “H-he’s tired from wandering the deck late last night.”

 

“Probably for the better.” Peggy’s father said casually while he picked up his expensive teacup and took a sip. “James doesn’t exactly do well in social situations.” He chuckled, leaving the supersoldier sat beside him fuming.

 

“What do you mean by that?” Peggy kicked Steve’s shin under the table. “Sir?” His tone was icy and sharp, eyes probably showing fire. No one got away with insulting Captain America’s best friend. Jeremiah opened his mouth to answer, before Peggy bravely cut him off.

 

“I’ll be right back, I’m off to powder my nose.” She shot Steve a fierce look. “Be good while I’m gone.” Peggy excused herself primly  and stood from the table, exiting through the door.

 

“What can I do for you, sir?” He asked politely through gritted teeth.

“I’m going to get straight to the point-“ The older man’s eyes bore into Steve’s own, and frankly, it unsettled him. “There are rumors going around, rumors that don’t make me too happy.” The blonde raised a brow to mask his spike in anxiety.

 

“What kinds of rumors, may I ask?” Jeremiah chuckled and leaned back on the chair, arms draped over the back, a cold smile dominating his features.

 

“That you’ve been getting romantic with someone  _other_ than my daughter.” Steve’s heart was beating a mile a minute. This was  _not_ good. Not at fucking all. He wasn’t planning on letting Jeremiah know the marriage was off until he and Tony could get off the ship so there would be less of a chance of an… incident. He thought of Tony getting killed or harassed for being with him; the genius never deserved pain, not for anything.

 

“I-I-“

 

“Save it.” Jeremiah said, cutting off Steve’s weak protests. “I don’t give a damn about your feelings- I just care about my daughter’s.” He said, a glint of  _something_  malicious that the soldier couldn’t place behind his eyes. “She loves you more than she’s loved any other man. Do you really want to break her heart?”

 

“Of course not, but sir, we just don’t love each other  _that way-_ “ Peggy had always been there for him, had never let him down. She talked him up when he was feeling hopeless, and talked him down when he was being too cocky. She balanced him and was logical when Bucky pushed him to do something crazy and stupid. She was a best friend to him just as much as the aforementioned brunette soldier was, and he loved her to the ends of the earth; he would never hurt her. But at the same time, just the thought of leaving Tony made his heart ache, no matter how wrong his feelings were. He just accepted them.

 

“Push whatever feelings you have for this  _Tony-“_ he spit the name out. “-down, repress them.” Jeremiah stood up and casually sauntered over to where Steve was trying to stop panicking. The retired general pushed his pointer finger into the taller man’s chest from across the table. “Your selfishness will  _not_  be my downfall, Steven. Now, do we understand each other?” Steve was about to comply before something stopped him short.

 

“No.” The other man’s brows shot to his forehead and his face turned a bright red.

 

“No?” He asked between gritted teeth. How would him not wanting to marry an insane man’s daughter be his downfall? It made no sense.

 

“No.” Steve repeated, straightening in his chair. “My happiness is more important than your family’s image. Especially because Peggy agrees with me.” Jeremiah stared at him for a second before he threw his head back in a cackle.

 

“I didn’t want to resort to this, but you leave me no choice.”

 

“What are you-“

 

“Do you know what it would look like if it was leaked that Captain America was a faggot?”

 

“I don’t care what people think about me-“

 

“Do you care what people think about Peggy? Or James, or any of your army buddies?” Steve stayed silent. “Their reputations would be ruined. Do you really want to be the cause of their ruined lives? No? That’s what I thought.” Just in that moment, the door opened to reveal Peggy once again.

 

“Sorry for taking so long, there was a line.” She said as she sat back down and looked back and forth between her father’s pleased expression and Steve’s one of distress. “What happened while I was gone-“

 

“Uh-“

 

“Good news sweetheart! The engagement’s back on!” Jeremiah said, throwing a jolly overlay over his voice from moments ago. His arm wrapped around Steve’s shoulders was tight enough to send the signal. ‘ _Agree or you’re over_.’ The blonde hesitated before complying, doing so stiffly.

 

“Yeah, yeah, it is. I’m so excited, Peggy.” She raised a brow.

 

“Father, I didn’t know you knew… and Steve-“ she started, but was cut off by a frantic soldier, blue eyes wide.

 

“I changed my mind about Tony. It was nothing, he’s nothing.” Peggy shot him a doubtful and concerned look.

 

“Well I’m glad that problem was fixed!” Jeremiah said, standing from the table and pushing his chair back in and putting his dirty napkin on his crumb-covered plate.

 

“Yeah…”

 

“I’ll be heading out now. Peggy, come with me.”

 

“But I need to talk to Steve for one second-“ she protested.

 

“No you do not. Come with me.” Her shoulders slumped and she did what she was told, shooting one last questioning look at her fiancé. He just found himself looking away. As soon as the pair was gone, Steve stood from his chair and walked away from the table, leaving his tea untouched.

 

_April 14, 1946_

 

Tony’s morning consisted of tinkering with a small airplane made out of random scraps he found on the deck or in hallways around the ship. He was determined to make it fly, maybe gift it to Steve if he could.

 

Though his fingers were rough and calloused, they were nimble enough to twist and place the small parts, much to Clint’s fascination. The man was seated next to Tony, eyes glued to the small project in awe of the intricacy.

 

“That’s incredible. How do you  _do_  this?” He asked, earning a disinterested shrug from the brunette, and a soft swat when he reached over to touch it.

 

“If you think this is impressive, you must’ve never seen any of my father’s inventions. They’re miles better.” Clint’s ennamored expression didn’t change in the slightest.

 

“I don’t give a damn about what your father made. I think your lame ass is an ace inventor by yourself. You got a good dome on those shoulders.” He said as Tony wound up the spring he took out of an old pen and let the model plane go, watching it buzz around unsteadily for a few moments before it inevitably crashed to the ground.

 

“That means a lot, feathers.” Tony said, standing to pick up the tiny contraption that he hoped represented the full sized plane he would fly in one day. Clint snorted.

 

“May I ask what the bird nicknames are for?” The inventor simply shrugged, toying with the metal and plastic in his hands.

 

“Dunno. Seemed fitting, bullseye.” At that name, the blonde seemed to pale before laughing awkwardly.

 

“Don’t see why, but whatever floats your boat-“

 

“Well speaking of what makes boats float-“ Clint stood up so suddenly he tripped over his feet in his haste to get to the door, a laughing Tony behind him.

 

“I’d rather face Tasha’s wrath than learn, Stark!” He called as the door slammed shut behind him. Tony simply shook his head fondly and continued to tinker until Bruce returned from his coffee trip to the dining room, asking why he just saw Clint sprinting down the hallway.

 

“He’d rather face the wrath of his dame than learn about what makes boats float.” Bruce shrugged dismissively and took a sip of his coffee- Tony knew it would be black- and took up the place where Clint had just been sitting.

 

“Can’t say I blame him. Water displacement is a mite boring.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Tony sighed and placed the little plane on the nightstand next to the bottom bunk.

 

It was a little too late to ask Steve where they would meet by the time Tony realized they hadn’t made plans the day before. He wandered the third class deck for about a half hour contemplating upon what to do. Bruce had told him to ask around, but no one on the third class deck would know, and he’d get kicked out of first class faster than he left his father’s house if he asked any of  _those_  stuffy people. But… maybe he didn’t have to talk to them.

 

Soon enough, the young Stark’s brain was full of a plan. It  _was_ Sunday. On a ship filled with so many socialites, there would be mass, right? And if Tony knew at least a tiny about Jeremiah, he knew that the man would force his daughter and her fiancé to go to mass. Maybe he’d find them there. Satisfied, he happily climbed up the crew staircase to get into first class, speed walking with his head down as he attempted to locate the room where church would be held.

 

After a fair bit of searching and some dirty looks, Tony ran head-on into Thor, who he hadn’t seen for about two days.

 

“Oh, what a pleasure, Man of Iron!” The large man chortled, clapping the shorter brunette on the shoulder.

 

“Nice to see you.” He greeted. “Hey, could you possibly tell me where mass is being held? I’m looking for-“

 

“Mr. America?” Thor finished with a smile, before he turned and gestured for Tony to follow him. “Yes, he is there. Follow me, Man of Iron!” The genius grinned and followed

 

“You can just call me Tony, if you’d like.” He said when they turned down a long hallway, walking side by side. Thor waved him off.

 

“Nonsense.” They continued a few feet further. “Captain of the Americas should be in there. I will see you again!” The blonde said, waving and walking away. Tony smiled after him then turned to look through the glass of the door.

 

Close to the front, he could see the unmistakable form of Steve Rogers, standing next to who Tony knew was Peggy. Looking a bit further down, he scoffed when he met the eye of Peggy’s asshole of a father. What he didn’t expect in the least was for said man to excuse himself and walk to the door, open it, and stand face to face with the inventor without Steve even seeming to notice.

 

“I’d like to remind you, Mister Stark, that you hold a third-class ticket.” Jeremiah said coldly, and Tony rolled his eyes in response.

 

“I’m well aware, sir. I just need to talk to Steve for a second-“ He made to walk around the older man, but was stopped with a hand on the chest.

 

“We are all thankful for the happiness you have brought Steven on this trip, but you won’t be seeing him anymore. Now, I suggest you return to your quarters before I have someone escort you.” Tony stared at him until his confusion turned to anger.

 

“This is asinine! Just let me-“ The brunette said, once again trying to push past, but being stopped by a firm hand.

 

“I will not ask again, Mister Stark.” Jeremiah said firmly, a sick smile on his face. Tony thought about protesting, but instead just backed off.

 

“Fine.” He said, before he turned on his heel and stormed off. If Jeremiah Carter wanted to fight over Steve?

 

They’d have a damn war.

 

Tony found himself pacing back and forth in a corridor close to the first-class deck entrance about an hour later, trying to come up with at least a skeleton of a plan. Time after time he thought that he had something that  _might_  just work, but he dismissed it as it relied on too many coincidences. But apparently that day, luck was on the genius’s side anyway. Not very common, but who was he to complain?

 

“-and I’m tellin’ ya, this guy is fu- crazy.” A familiarly deep voice caught the inventor’s attention.

 

“Bucky?” Tony yelled in the direction he heard the voice from and immediately received a reply.

 

“Tony?” Soon enough, he heard the thumping of footsteps and saw the soldier’s dark cropped hair and cleft chin. Behind him trailed Loki, Thor’s reserved brother. When the pair reached him, Bucky clapped him kindly on the shoulder. “It’s only been a day, but it feels too long.” Tony laughed awkwardly.

 

“Yeah… hey, why aren’t you at church with everyone else?” Bucky snorted.

 

“Waste my time there? No thanks. The only reason Steve’s there is to stay civil with Mr. Carter.” Bucky said. Tony let the words sink in. He had a feeling that just  _maybe_  Peggy’s father knew more than he was letting on.

 

“Makes sense. Um, you wouldn’t happen to know where Steve’s going to be after?” Loki, strangely enough, chimed in before Barnes had a chance to voice anything.

 

“Mr. Carter, Margaret, Steve, and James are to take a tour of the ship decks around 12.” He said stiffly. It made Tony wonder why the carefree Bucky Barnes was spending time with such a stick-in-the-mud, as well as why Loki knew Steve’s companions’ schedule. He was thankful nonetheless.

 

“Why do you want to know, if I may ask?” Bucky questioned. The inventor opened his mouth to reply, but found that he didn’t have one. It was just Jeremiah, wasn’t it?

 

“Mr. Carter threatened to have me ‘ _escorted_ ’ back to my room if I didn’t get out of first-class territory, and Steve and I didn’t make plans for when to meet today.”

 

“I hate that pip.” Tony snorted. “I’m just gonna meet up with everyone a little later. Loki and I are doing some scouting.”

 

“You’re tellin me. I better jet so I can catch Steve. Thanks for the help, dollar. You too, Loki.” He said his goodbyes and set off down the hall and to a deck door, which he opened and exited through. A clock posted on the wall told him that it was 11:50, and if he wanted to catch the group, he would have to find some crew stairs. ( _that part didn’t take nearly as long as he thought it would._ )

-

Steve didn’t feel like talking much as he walked the decks he’d already explored with Tony, this time with Peggy and Jeremiah, as well as a few of Mr. Carter’s friends that he didn’t know, or care to. Bucky hadn’t turned up yet, so the supersoldier sulked at the back of the group, thinking as Thor talked his ear off beside him.

 

It was cold yet sunny outside, but the deck, or at least the portion they were touring, was devoid of people, which was unusual for any of the ship’s decks.

 

“Hey Thor?” Steve questioned, looking at the lifeboats perched on the ship’s edge.

 

“Yes Captain of the Americas?”

 

“Please forgive me if I’m wrong-” He knew he wasn’t wrong. “-but I did the math in my head, and it seems like there isn’t enough room for everyone on board-” Thor interrupted him, a jolly smile decorating his features.

 

“About half, actually.” Steve felt dumbstruck. How could the people building such a fine ship  _not_ include enough lifeboats for everyone on board? “I voted to double the amount, but I was, ah-“ he shot a dirty look up towards his brother, who had only just arrived with a panting Bucky on his tail. “overruled.”

 

“Waste of deck space as it is on an unsinkable ship.” Jeremiah tutted, hitting the side of one of the boats with his cane, narrowly missing Steve’s best friend.

 

“Sleep soundly, good Captain.” Thor slapped him on the shoulder. “I have built you a mighty vessel.” Steve gave him a nod before allowing him to take the lead.

 

The group kept moving forward, Jeremiah keeping Peggy by his side at all times. Sometimes she would shoot a glance back towards Steve, but he would avert his eyes. He made his choice, and he had to stick to it. Bucky walked in time with his conflicted best friend, and Steve was about to ask where he and Loki had been, when footsteps approaching from behind the pair made him turn.

 

Tony shot Bucky a quick grin before grabbing Steve’s arm after appearing from seemingly nowhere. The look he gave the supersoldier was so honest and open and  _begging_  that the blonde couldn’t find it in himself to refuse Tony… not that he ever could, anyway. Wherever they went, Steve reminded himself, they would only do  _platonic_  things and… and it would end at that. Bucky must’ve seen him hesitating because the other man elbowed him hard in the ribs and gestured towards Tony with his eyes. He gave one last look at the rest of his group who hadn’t noticed their lagging, before he turned to the man in front of him and allowed him to take his arm and lead him into a room off to one side of the deck.

 

The room, it turned out, was the gym. It surprised Steve that he’d never visited the place before, considering his love to push the new body to its’ limits. He gazed into Tony’s eyes for a second and looked away when the expression he found was too intense. Well, it made sense that he’d never found that place if he considered who he’d spent most of the trip so far with.

 

“Tony-” He started running a hand through his short hair. The other man raised a brow. “This… this is impossible.” Tony reached out a hand to touch him, but the supersoldier merely took a step back to avoid the calloused fingers. “I can’t see you.” He moved to take the handle of the door into his grasp, berating himself for even going with the beautiful genius in the first place. ‘ _Mistake, mistake, mistake_ -‘

 

“Then just open your eyes-” Tony boldy grasped his wrist, surprising Steve. Surely he knew what those arms could do to him, and frankly, it didn’t seem like a very ‘ _Tony_ ’ thing to do. “You said you saw me. Just don’t stop looking.” He sounded desperate, and it pained the other man to even hear. “C’mon, I just want to talk to you-”

 

“No, Tony.” His harsh tone surprised himself. “I’m engaged. To Peggy, I’m engaged to Peggy, and I love her-” he rambled, using inane hand gestures and nervous tendencies until he was interrupted.

 

“Okay winghead, look.” The shorter man cut him off, stepping closer. “You’re no picnic. You’re a supersoldier who was thrown into a war and had his life flipped around, always having to do the noble thing and ignore your own feelings.” Steve opened his mouth to respond, but Tony wasn’t done. He lowered his voice when the blonde heard the sound of people walking past the gym. “But I see right through you.” The footsteps receded, leaving the only sounds as Tony’s and his own harsh breaths. “You want to love her because you know that’s what Captain America would do. He’d marry the pretty girl, have a nationally reported wedding with thousands of guests and smile for the cameras. But that isn’t what Steve Rogers wants, is it.”

 

“You have no idea what I want.”

 

“I think I have plenty.” There was a lull, during which Tony grasped his left wrist- a move that didn’t go unnoticed. “You’re incredible Steve, and I’m not an idiot. I know how the world works.” Some seagulls cawed outside. “I’m a man, first off. Not a good start to an… anything when it’s illegal. Not to mention I have about ten dollars to my name, a tarnished name, might I add, and absolutely nothing to offer you. Besides a Bruce, which is pretty fantastic to say the least-”

 

“-I love too softly, Tony. We wouldn’t work anyway. You need someone,  _anyone_ , better.” Steve said, trying his best to avoid Tony’s eyes because if he looked into those deep brown pools he would be unable to stop himself from doing something he’d regret.

 

“I refuse to accept that, because we both know it’s utter bullshit. I’m too invested in you to even consider it, quite frankly.” Steve could hear the smirk in his voice. The other man reached up and grasped his chin, turning his face so that the brown would meet icy blue and melt it with warmth. “You jump I jump, remember?” A breath caught in his throat. “I can’t turn away and, and  _leave_  without at least knowing that  _you’ll be okay_.” It has in implication that was easy to spot. Steve pushed Tony away, gently.

 

“Well, I’m fine.” His tone didn’t even convince himself. “I’ll be fine.”

 

“I don’t think so. That prick has you trapped, Steve, and eventually that fire- you know, the one that drove you though that hell we call war- that’s gonna die out. And what’ll you have left?” Tony snorted and crossed his arms over his chest as he leant against the wall next to the door. “Peggy? Bucky? Yes, of course. But you’ll also have Jeremiah, and the rest of the aristocracy.

 

I spent my whole childhood trying to get out of that life, and I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy, let alone you and Bucky. It’s a prison… and that prison will make you burn out and bleed.” Steve was struck silent for a moment, before he shook himself out of it.

 

“It’s not up to you to save me, Tony. I think I’ve proved plenty that I can take care of myself.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right…” the brunette conceded, tone scarily casual. “Only you can save your self-sacrificing ass.” Captain America- Steve- hesitated, before pushing his shoulders back and drawing himself to his full height, reaching past Tony to grab the doorknob.

 

“I’m going back.” He opened the door and stepped through it without looking back. “Just stay away from me.” And he left, letting the door shut softly behind him and trying to repress the part of himself which begged Tony to follow.

 

Steve gently closed the door to his room a little while later, already anticipating Bucky sitting in one of the armchairs awaiting news. It was about 12:45, but there was no way in hell that Bucky Barnes would stay for the entirety of a tour of a boat that he’d already been on for four days.

 

“Hey daddy-o.” The brunette said with a soft grin, arms crossed over his chest. Steve didn’t even try to return it before he sat on the couch, putting his head in his hands. “What happened?” The supersoldier grunted in response. “Did you not get your Tony fix or something?” Bucky joked.

 

“I don’t know what to do, Buck. I-I can’t-“ Bucky’s smile melted at Steve’s tone, and he immediately relocated so that he was sitting at his best friend’s side, patting his broad shoulders.

 

“What did Tony say to you? Do I have to lay him out?” Steve didn’t even look up to respond; he just kept his head in his hands, as if it would help keep his mind quiet.

 

“Plenty… but, well you missed a lot yesterday.” Was all he said while Bucky scoffed.

 

“No shit, that hangover was a bitch.” He waited for Steve to continue with a bushy brow raised.

 

“Well, basically Peggy and I broke the engagement so I could be with Tony, then the engagement was back on a few hours later. Then-“ Bucky cut him off.

 

“Start with a more in-depth explanation of that part. Why did you reinstate the engagement?” Steve hesitated, not knowing whether it would be better to tell his best friend the truth or to lie to him; after a second of looking in the brown eyes that held all of his trust, he made his choice.

 

“...Jeremiah told me that if people found out I was… gay… it would ruin the reputation of the Commandos… and, and Peggy… and  _you_ , Bucky.” The words poured out as Steve’s breathing quickened to a racing pace, Bucky’s hand rubbing circles into the tense knots in his back. “I-I won’t be the reason anybody says anything bad about you. It’s not fair-“

 

“Steven Grant Rogers.” Bucky said calmly, commanding his best friend’s attention. Blue eyes locked onto brown ones. “If you think for a second that my reputation is more important to me than your heart, you can’t be the Steve I’ve known my entire life.”

 

“But-“

 

“No. No, no. The same goes for Peggy, and the other Howlers. You think any of us give two shits about our reputations?” Steve looked away, bashful. His fingers dragged back and forth along the couch fibers, and sea spray dusted the outside of the porthole. “You’ve given everything for the war, and other people. Just let us give something for you.” Bucky insisted. “And what about Tony? That man is absolutely head over heels for you.”

 

“...He doesn’t need someone like me. I’m too messed up to be any good for him.” Bucky scoffed and crossed his legs, leaning back into the chair.

 

“God, have you ever  _met_  Tony? He’s one hundred layers of fucked.” He shook his head before continuing. “If you make another excuse I will personally go find him and drag him to you. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard in a long time.” Bucky sighed and pushed an exasperated hand through his hair. Steve stayed silent, heart beating fast. “Go find him. Right the  _fuck_ now.” The brunette commanded, and just like old times, Steve did as he was told. He sulked his way up to the first class deck, following where his instincts told him to go.

 

It took several hours of aimless wandering and dark thoughts until he found himself on the bow-facing deck, stopping himself from sprinting to the shape of the man who stole his heart who was standing at the very tip of the ship, facing the water below. The setting sun in front of him cast a golden glow around the edges of his body. The gorgeous pinks, reds, yellows, and purples painted the sky above him, making Steve want to run and get his sketchbook to encapsulate the beauty in front of him.

 

One step at a time, doubt trying to push him back every second, he made his way to Tony’s side. The dark-haired man looked peaceful, the only thing off was the grip he had on his left wrist, seemingly to stop it from shaking. His feet were firmly planted on the deck, hair blowing softly.

 

“...I’m sorry.” Those were the first words that left Steve’s mouth. No other ones felt appropriate enough.

 

“Are you?” Tony said quietly, though it wasn’t angry- it was vulnerable. Steve stepped forward, carefully resting his large hands on the other man’s waist, waiting to see if he would be pushed away-

 

he wasn’t.

 

Tony leaned back into Steve’s warm chest, but didn’t say anything.

 

“I don’t deserve you, Tony Stark.” He whispered. Tony scoffed.

 

“Bullshit. I should be saying that to you, Cappy.” Steve chuckled lightly, overcome with an incredibly tangible rush of affection- and dare he say- love. He looked out over the water for a few moments more before an idea sprung into his head.

 

“Close your eyes.” Steve leaned down and whispered the words into Tony’s ear, receiving a smile.

 

“You plotting to push me over?”

 

“Well when you put it that way-“

 

“Okay, okay. Eyes are closed.” Steve tightened his grip on the genius’s waist before he said his next instruction.

 

“Step up onto the rail-“

 

“You’re gonna tell a recently suicidal person to step onto a boat railing-“

 

“Do you trust me?” A pause.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then just step up… I  _promise,_  I won’t let you go.” Tony hesitated before he stepped up on the first rung of the rail, one foot at a time, Steve’s iron grip seeming to be the only thing keeping him there. Steve stepped up behind him, the smaller man leaning back into his chest. He could feel Tony’s erratic heartbeat through his back.

 

“Relax, Tones.” He said softly, slowly running his hands up and down Tony’s sides to calm him. The cold wind whipped at their clothes, but the end-of-day sun warmed their blushing faces minutely. Steve rested his chin on the shorter man’s right shoulder. “Open your eyes.” Tony did so slowly, cracking them open and letting them light up slowly. The reflection of the sun hit the brown irises, turning them a honey-gold.

 

“It’s beautiful.” He said with a large smile, his head turned to the side to meet Steve’s fond gaze. “And if your gorilla brain didn’t get it, I was talking about you more than the sunset.” Tony joked, earning a snort of a laugh from the blonde.

 

“Thanks, spork.” Tony’s eyes flickered down to Steve’s lips for a split second before coming back up.

 

“That’s my line, Goldilocks.” The brunette said with a light grin, hesitating for a moment before leaning in minutely to meet Steve in the middle for a breathtaking kiss.

 

The soldier almost pulled back as soon as their lips touched because of what felt like an electric shock passing between them. Tony let out a small noise of approval and pressed their lips together more firmly, both balanced precariously on the edge of the greatest ship in the world, bathed in the light of the setting sun. Steve’s hands linked with Tony’s, spreading the other man’s arms out to their maximum width.Their lips disconnected just long enough for Tony to make an exclamation.

 

“I’m flying, Steve.” The inventor said, eyes bright with joy, a laugh escaping his open lips.

 

“So am I.” Steve dove back in, capturing the shorter man’s mouth once again. He took the lead this time- he ran his tongue along the seam of Tony’s lips, which opened after a few seconds of light hearted teasing. Steve’s lightning fast tongue dove in and out of his mouth sporadically, and he started taking Tony’s bottom lip in between his perfectly white teeth.

 

The wind whipped around them and the sun finally dipped below the horizon as Tony brought his left hand up to cup Steve’s cheek and hold him ever closer.

 

“Do you… want to come back to my room? It’s getting a little chilly.” Steve said right into Tony’s ear when he reluctantly pulled away, the other man laughing breathily at the sensation sighing contently.

 

“I think that could be arranged.” He replied, Steve hearing the obvious smile in his voice. The taller man stepped down from the rail, trying to keep a hand on Tony’s waist to act as an anchor for him.

 

“What a gentleman.” Tony teased once both his feet were safely on the deck. Steve’s eyes were undecided between looking at the beauty of Tony’s face or taking in the majesty of the scattered stars that had just begun to appear in the darkening sky. He took the smaller hand that was offered to him without any hesitation. He didn’t bother to look around the deck to spot anyone who might see them. He didn’t care at all, not when there was a curious glint lighting up the genius’s eye. “Whatcha waiting there for, doll? Lead the way!” And he did, pulling Tony by the hand across the deck and through the maze of hallways until they faced an artfully carved mahogany door. Steve shuffled to free the key from his pocket, but had the door open soon enough.

 

He walked inside, slightly embarrassed by the grand nature of the room. When he looked back at Tony, however, he seemed quite unfazed.

 

“Nice place.” Tony said casually, picking up an ornamental apple from a gaudy fruit bowl. He smiled and tossed it at Steve, who caught the plastic fruit with ease. “Doesn’t seem like your style, though.” Steve blushed.

 

“You’re not exactly wrong there.” He said, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. Blue eyes skimmed the room until they rested on the safe in the corner. “You want to see something  _really_ not my style?” He grinned and made his way towards it.

 

“Oh you know I do.” The blonde punched in the code and opened the steel door to take out the necklace case that resides inside, along with a collection of documents and the ring box.

 

“Alright-“ Steve walked to the couch and sat down, Tony doing the same. The genius’ side pressed against his own made his blush darken ever so much more, but he tried to ignore the urge to press his lips against those of the gorgeous man sat beside him. “This is  _supposed_ to be a wedding present for Peggy.” Tony made a face while Steve laughed lightly at him. “Jeremiah is-  _was_ \- going to make me give it to her.” The soldier opened the case, and Tony’s eyes widened to the side of saucers.

 

“That’s one hell of a rock.” The brunette looked to Steve for permission before carefully taking the necklace out of the velvet case and examining it. “What is it, a sapphire?” Steve rested his head on Tony’s.

 

“A diamond. A really, really rare one.” Tony let out a low whistle and placed the necklace back in Steve’s hand.

 

“No shit.”

 

“Apparently Jeremiah bought it from some French jeweler-“ Tony tensed at the mention. Steve pulled away to look at him in the eye. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing, nothing….” He bit his lip as Steve crossed his arms over his chest and raised a suspicious brow. “Okay, it’s just… Bruce and I stopped in France once while we were traveling…” Steve looked at Tony with peaked interest, leaning forward to listen. Tony had a red blush on his cheeks that made Steve want to kiss everywhere the red color spread. “I would model for painters to get extra money-“

 

“You never struck me as the modeling type, truthfully.” Tony mocked offense, a hand resting on his chest while his mouth gaped open.

 

“Are you saying I’m not handsome enough, Captain?” Steve chuckled and looked at the gem in his hand, turning it in his fingers to watch the light dance across the faceted, ocean-hued surface.

 

“Not in the slightest.”

 

“Good.” Tony smiled mischievously, and it took Steve mere moments for words to come pouring out of his mouth. He would be a sorry excuse for a spy.

 

“How would you…” Steve blushed and looked away from the man of his desires, coughing into his hand as said man smirked with a groomed brow raised. “How would you, um, like to be my model?” He asked, biting his lip after the words left his mouth.

 

“You wanna draw me like one of your army girls?” Tony said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Steve’s blush darkened, but he nodded nonetheless. The shorter inventor put a finger to his chin, seemingly deep in thought for a few seconds. “Yeah, all right.” He said, and Steve broke out into a rather impressive grin. “But!-“ He reached out and carefully took the diamond from the soldier’s hand, the expensive chain trailing over his palm.

 

“But?” A flash of uncertainty clouded Tony’s eyes for a millisecond before they were back to their usual stifling confidence.

 

“I want you to draw me wearing this.” Steve still looked confused, so he rolled his eyes and took a step forward so their faces were mere inches apart. “Wearing  _only_ this.”

 

“O-oh.” Steve was silent for a second, before he nodded enthusiastically. Tony chuckled and carefully played with the hem of his shirt.

 

“Are you sure?” There was that hint of nervousness again, hidden right beneath the surface. Steve surged forward and pressed his lips comfortingly to Tony’s forehead.

 

“Absolutely.” The inventor grinned and stood up, walking to Steve’s bedroom door and entering it.

 

“I’ll give you a few minutes to get ready.” He said, and promptly disappeared behind the door. Steve sat still for a few moments, before the shock of what he was about to do wore off and he jumped to his feet.

 

The first thing he did was move the couch into the center of the room, angled so that the light would hit Tony’s body in a more flattering way. He followed that by moving one of the armchairs directly across from it, then went to the bearu to collect his sketchbook, pencils, and charcoals. His mind was racing, as was his heart with childish anticipation.

 

Steve blew out a hot breath that disturbed the hairs on his forehead and observed his set-up, hands on his hips, until the creak of the bedroom door knocked him out of his stupor. The blonde turned to see Tony, covered unceremoniously by a plain white towel slung around his hips. Steve’s mouth gaped as he took the other man in.

 

“This is your last chance to drop out, winghead.” Tony’s voice was low and sultry, a crimson blush looking elegant on his skin. Steve could only shake his head, the brunette shrugging. “A-Alright.” He stuttered. Steve had never heard Tony stutter before.

 

“Nervous?” Steve asked innocently but received a glare in reply.

 

“No!” Tony snapped, before he took a deep breath, and let the towel fall. Steve couldn’t help the sharp intake of air he had because Tony was absolutely  _gorgeous_.

 

After a moment of silence, during which Tony simply gripped his left wrist and looked at Steve with those deep brown eyes, the soldier spoke while he was taking his seat.

 

“Just, uh… take a seat on the bed-“ his eyes widened. “on the couch.” Tony grinned softly but walked toward the furniture all the same. Steve quickly picked up his sketchbook and put it in his lap because he was already half hard from just  _looking_  at Tony.

 

“What should I…” He sat down and leaned back, feet together but knees slightly spread, wide shoulders leant back to rest on the back of he couch casually. His left wrist was still gripped in his right hand; left arm crossing his lower abdomen to rest just above his hips. His left hand rested gently on his thigh, and the diamond necklace fell to the center of his chest, right in between his pecs.

 

“Perfect. Just like that.” Steve said and took a pencil in hand whilst crossing his legs to act as support for the sketchbook in his lap. “Just tilt your head down a little, and… I suppose your little smirk would look best.” Tony pulled the exact face Steve was looking for with an eyeroll. “Ace. Okay, now just stay like that.” He whispered, and then the pencil hit paper.

 

Suddenly the supersoldier was in another world. After he drew the couch and the background, he fell headfirst into drawing the man that had stolen his heart. First, the hair formed- unruly yet somehow tamed; dark and wavy with a few stubborn strands falling onto his forehead, which had minute wrinkles on it, presumably from stress. Next the face, mischievous and confident, eyes radiating intelligence and mirth. His goatee was imperfect yet it fit him so well, jaw strong and sharp, and his lips were full and magnetic. Then was the delicate neck that Steve couldn’t stop fantasizing leaving dark, loving bruises all over, and strong shoulders and arms. The necklace formed on Tony’s stunning chest, which was littered by the most minute white scars, and his nipples were pebbled and dusky. The diamond looked like a piece of coal in comparison to the beauty that radiated from his blushing subject.

 

Next Steve shaded Tony’s defined abs, which he would adore tracing with his fingers or tongue, dipping the muscle into his navel, feeling the muscles move and clench under his touch. He’d let his fingers slowly drag down to his ‘V’ and then when the man below him was panting and gasping for him-

 

“I’d say you’re blushing, mister artisté.” Tony said, earning a small smile while Steve’s eyes traced down to Tony’s half hard cock, trying to figure out what shape he could use to form it and trying not to imagine taking it between his lips. “And so serious, too.” He mocked, jokingly. If only he knew what was going on in the supersoldier’s head.

 

The artist drew those sharp hip bones and toned thighs and calves, before finishing off with his toes. Steve shaded a few places and erased any small mistakes, then stood up.

 

“Done already?” Tony asked, standing up and stretching out. Steve hoped that the way he was pushing his hips out and flaunting himself was accidental, but either way it was doing  _things_ to him.

 

“‘Fraid so.” Tony sauntered over to him, at least having the decency to pick up the towel from the floor and only show off his ass a  _little bit_  before he leaned down and rested his folded arms on Steve’s shoulder to look at the paper before him.

 

“Oh Steve-“ The Cheshire grin said everything. “It’s perfect.” He said, and leaned down for a breathtaking kiss, pushing his tongue into the soldier’s mouth and burying strong hands in blonde hair.

 

“Hey-“ Steve broke the kiss softly, reaching up and behind him to take Tony’s cheek in his palm. “We have to put the necklace back, okay?” Tony groaned and faked a swoon, dramatically backing away with a hand to his forehead.

 

“A necklace just cockblocked me. What has this world become?” He cried, but carefully removed the diamond from his neck and carried it gently over to the open velvet case, placing it gingerly inside and closing the lid. “That thing’s gonna give Peggy some right-painful neck cricks.” Steve rolled his eyes but stood nonetheless, placing the signed drawing on the table and taking the necklace to put back in the safe.

 

“That’s what I thought.” He wrapped his arms securely around Tony’s scarcely covered waist, and pressed his lips against the shorter man’s neck, earning a low groan before he pulled away.

 

“I have to get dressed.” Steve pouted and stepped forward to take Tony’s hands in his again.

 

“Do you though?” The genius rolled his eyes,

 

“Yes, I do.” Steve caved and let go, Tony walking to the bedroom to get dressed again.

 

“Don’t complain about me cockblocking you and then do it to yourself.” The blonde grumbled to himself.

 

“I heard that!”

 

“Good!” Steve shook his head and smiled to himself, fingering the paper in his hand before placing it on the table. A few moments later, he heard the door to the bedroom open and the soft footsteps of Tony’s return.

 

“Steve?”  _Knock, knock, knock_

“Shit.” The soldier cursed quietly. “Uh, yeah?”

 

“Steve, I’m literally 100% positive you have Tony in there with you, and if you two are-“ The door handle rattled, and the pair inside could hear the glee in Bucky’s voice. “I’m gonna get you in so much trouble-“ Steve rolled his eyes and took Tony’s hand, nodding his head in the direction of another door.

 

“If he wants to play chase, we better start runnin’.” Tony shot him a wicked grin.

 

“You just about read my mind.” Steve laughed and grabbed Tony’s hand just as the door flew open behind them, and they bolted, running through the bedroom out the back door and into the hallway.

 

“Steeeve are you seriously gonna be like that? Tony was  _supposed_  to be a good influence!” Bucky called from behind the couple, the volume of his footsteps indicating that he was catching up.

 

Steve tightened his grip on Tony’s hand and made the split second choice to pull the wheezing mechanic down a side hall and into a close to empty elevator. Bucky caught up and looked down at them just as they were below the floor line. Steve shot him a friendly wave while Tony flipped him the bird and offered a smile.

 

The pair wandered aimlessly around this ship until somehow they ended up in the cargo hold of all places, sitting in some stranger’s car.

 

“And where to, good sir?” Tony asked with a bad accent on his tongue, taking the leather covered wheel in hand, speaking the words over his shoulder but keeping dark eyes forward. He heard some quiet shuffling from the blonde man in the back, followed by warm breath on his cheek.

 

“To the stars.” Steve said softly into the genius’s ear, then grabbed him by the shoulders with a laugh and pulled him into the back seat. Once settled, Steve wrapped his arms around Tony’s shoulders, and looked at him. Looked at the man in his arms, and wondered why the hell it took so long to get there.

 

“Are you nervous?” Tony whispered as he aligned his hand with the soldier’s and laced their fingers. Fire spread from the contact, and Steve felt the blood in his veins crackling with electricity because  _this was how it was supposed to feel._  The blonde leaned closer and pressed his lips to Tony’s forehead and lingered, tasting the salt of his sweat and smelling his ocean-scented curls.

 

“Never.” He replied, voice gravelly but full of love and want. Pulling back, Steve surveyed his lover’s blown pupils and rosy cheeks. He got lost in those endless dark eyes and could feel nothing but the other man’s comforting weight and warmth in his arms. Tony pulled the soldier’s hand towards himself, gently pressing his lips to the tip of each appendage.

 

And then the brunette gave him a look that held more emotion than Steve had ever seen.

 

“I want you.” He whispered, looking to Steve for permission to go after what he desired. Who was he to deny Tony Stark of what he wanted?

 

 “Anything.”  And their lips met tenderly. That kiss started out as innocent as the one on the bow of the ship, but soon it became more and more; a pouring of feelings into action that had both men gasping for air but not wanting to break apart. Steve’s hand was knotted in the hairs occupying the base of Tony’s neck, while Tony’s were tangled in Steve’s shirt, prying at the stiff buttons. He grunted in annoyance.

 

“Who designed these shirts? The button holes are way too small.” Steve giggled breathily, before reaching down to help the smaller man with the buttons, brushing their fingers together every few seconds until the dress shirt was pushed open by eager, yet still somehow shy, hands.

 

“Fuck…” The profanity left the inventor’s breathless lips when he saw Steve’s chest- hairless, blemishless, and  _perfect_. A rose colored blush covered said soldier’s cheeks and spread across his face while the brown-eyed genius pushed the shirt completely off, pulling it down the larger man’s wide shoulders. A tentative hand slid across the unmarred skin, tracing over the indentations of Steve’s abs as Tony leant in for another breath catching kiss.

 

Steve’s tongue poked shyly at Tony’s lips, asking for permission like the gentleman he was; permission that was instantly granted with earnest. As their lips collided, Steve’s senses were heightened to eleven and his mind was racing, all thoughts of Tony. ‘ _He tastes so good. He’s so beautiful. Why did I wait so long, what was I thinking. To hell with image, to hell with blackmail. I want to stay with this man. I want to stay, I want to stay-_ “ he thought, pushing the brunette’s suspenders down his arms and putting tentative fingers under the hem of his shirt.

 

“Wait-“ Tony whispered, pulling back a fraction so the words were mumbled just away from the soldier’s red lips. Steve stilled instantly, pulling his hand away. Tony’s eyes flickered from him to the window nervously.

 

“What’s wrong? Did I do something, did I hurt you-“ Steve asked, immediately putting space between them and internally reprimanding himself for messing up. Tony’s eyes widened.

 

“No, no,  _god_  Steve, you’re perfect I-“ He took the blonde’s hand and held it tight. “I’m worried you won’t… like me.” At those words, the soldier immediately surged forward to capture Tony’s lips.

 

“I’ve heard you say a lot of things these past few days, but that-“ he kissed him again. “that was the dumbest thing any genius could’ve said.” Steve reached out again and took the hem of Tony’s ratty shirt in his hands and paused, waiting to see if there would be discouragement, but none came. “Plus, I’ve already drawn most of it.” All he could see in that moment was that he had succeeded in knocking down Tony Stark’s supposedly impenetrable walls. Gently, the supersoldier lifted the fabric over the brunette’s curly head and discarded it on the floor of the car. The leather seat groaned at the movement. “You’re so gorgeous, Tones.” Steve whispered, carefully urging the man onto his back so he would have room to pepper him with kisses. “Everything-“ if there was more to the sentence, it was lost to Steve pressing his hands into Tony’s angular hips and locking his teeth onto the inventor’s neck, pulling a sharp moan from his mouth that the soldier could see he immediately tried to repress. All that came of it was that Steve worked harder; sucking what would surely become deep purple bruises into tanned skin.

 

“Steve…” The name left Tony’s mouth before it could be stopped, fingers trailing up from thin hips to trace the indentations of his assortment of scars. Lips trailed from the brown-eyed man’s neck to his chest, dipping into the white lines until a skillful tongue wrapped around his left nipple, causing it to pebble instantly. Tony’s left hand sat buried in golden locks, while the right was groping handfuls of Steve’s glorious ass, pressing the blonde’s pelvis into his own. The soldier smiled from his place around the spit-slicked right nipple now, and paused from the gentle suckling.

 

“Eager, are we?” Steve smirked whilst rolling his hips into Tony’s wanton erection, drawing a hot breath from the aforementioned man’s lips.

 

“You have  _no_  idea.”

 

“I think I may have some.”

 

“Prove it.” Steve chuckled, simultaneously reaching down between them to unbutton the front of his lover’s trousers, palm ghosting over the bulge that lay a few inches south.

 

“You would’ve been a good soldier, Tony.” Steve pressed a kiss to his lips while pushing the old slacks over the man’s thin hips to lie on the car floor, joining their discarded shirts.

 

“Bullshit.” Tony said, the blonde’s hands once again grasping his hips with incredible force- though he was obviously holding back. Tony took this chance to press kisses of his own to Steve’s neck, wet lips feeling heavenly on the supersoldier’s heated skin.

 

“And why do you-  _yes_ \- say, s-say that?” Steve tumbled over his words when Tony suddenly reached down a hand and grabbed the blonde’s cock through his pants, rubbing it roughly. The inventor smirked.

 

“‘Cuz I’m not too good at following orders,  _Captain,_ ” Steve took his turn to smile slyly as Tony threw his head back at him grinding their hips together, hard.

 

“That’s the best kind of soldier.” Tony stared at him for a second before something flashed in his eyes and he moved up, a hand grasping the back of the larger man’s head and pulling his face down to meet his own. The way their lips met was miles from the way it was minutes ago; now it was teeth and bite and  _heat_  and  _holy shit Steve was overwhelmed in the best fucking way._

 

Quick as he could, Steve unbuttoned and unzipped his way too tight pants and shoved them off ungracefully in his total haste to rid himself of any barrier between himself and the man he was head over heels for. Their kiss remained fiery and passionate as underthings were removed and the two were completely bare and exposed to each other.

 

The soldier sat above the inventor, looking down at his gorgeous, sweat-slicked skin. Tony’s chest moved up and down quickly, and his eyes were glazed over with lust. When he glanced to the window, Steve saw that it was already fogged up, and they’d hardly touched each other.

 

“What’s going on in that handsome head of yours?” Tony asked quietly, tracing a lazy finger up Steve’s thigh to where his legs disconnected from his torso, then brought his hand over to grasp at the blonde’s already leaking cock. Steve let out a quiet breath at the sensations, enjoying the shivers they sent up his spine.

 

“I want to make love to you, Tony Stark.” He declared, the brunette smiling mockingly, love filling his eyes as he moved his wrist slowly up and down.

 

“Make love? That’s a very ‘Steve’ way to say that you want to fuck me, right?” The supersoldier sighed and rocked his hips into Tony’s fist.

 

“I- yeah.”

 

“Good.”

 

Steve leaned down once again, capturing Tony’s already kiss-swollen lips and pushed his tongue in between them. He dragged his soft hands up and down his lover’s sides, causing goosebumps to cover his skin and pleasure shivers to wrack his body. The car was compact for two grown men, especially if one was genetically enhanced, but neither of them seemed to mind the space at all when Steve spit onto his hands and reached down between them, pointer finger skirting past Tony’s scrotum to push at his tight hole.

 

“Tell me if it’s too much.” Steve said, the other man nodding fervently.

 

“Neither of us have done this before, we’ll have to learn as we go.” With confirmation, he pushed the single digit in past the tight ring of muscle. Tony hissed at the stretch, but insisted that Steve keep going. So he did.

 

Over the course of about a half hour, lots of spit and eventually a search through the glovebox and getting lucky enough to find some flower-scented hand lotion, Steve found himself three fingers deep in Tony Stark, who’d given up trying to hold in his cries of pleasure at about the ten minute mark.

 

“Fuck Steve. I swear if you don’t get your cock in me right now-“ He panted, rocking back into the blonde’s hand. Steve found himself struggling not to come from the sight of Tony’s asshole eating his fingers, and had a fist wrapped around the base of his nearly painful erection to stave it off. They opened one of the doors so Tony could lie on his stomach with the top of his head poking out, trying desperately not to rut into the leather seat and come before Steve was even inside of him.

 

“Okay, just tell me-“

 

“If it’s too much. Yeah, just  _please-_ “ Tony begged, and Steve delivered. The blonde took his fingers out, marveling at the way the pink muscle seemed to pulse. “It’s so empty-“ Tony said, eyes closed. Steve slicked his red, weeping cock and pressed it in, slowly, along with a kiss to his lover’s shoulder blade. He watched Tony’s hands form tight fists and wished he could see the ‘o’ shape that must’ve dominated his mouth. “You’re so fucking big god  _damn it_.”

 

“Sorry?” Steve asked, sitting up and stilling halfway in. Tony was having none of it and pushed his ass up, taking another half inch with a groan.

 

“Don’t ever fucking apologize. This cock should be put in a damn  _museum_.” Steve chuckled and continued pushing himself in until he bottomed out, balls and pelvis flush with the curves of Tony’s brilliant ass. There was no way anyone could be better. Certainly not Peggy. She wouldn’t make those sounds, and her big brown eyes wouldn’t roll into the back of her head, which was glistening with sweat, dark curls sticking to a tanned forehead. Her fingernails wouldn’t scratch at his biceps, and she wouldn’t bite the edge of a car seat to stave off screams of ecstasy. But Tony did it all, and did it beautifully, unlocking desires within him that he never knew he had until that very moment. Steve pulled him into a kneeling position and pressed his chest flush to Tony’s back, mouth next to the brunette’s pink-tinged ear.

 

“You’re so damn tight, Tones. I can barely stand it, you’re so perfect and fit around me like a glove-“ Tony groaned when Steve began rocking steadily into him, the light sound of wet skin slapping skin echoing through the cavernous cargo room.

 

“What kind of man are you? Chivalrous even though you’re fucking me like a slut.” The inventor panted, pulling off of Steve and flipping over, wrapping his legs around his partner’s narrow hips, waiting for Steve to push himself back in and pound him like there was no tomorrow. “I thought you were a soldier. What do they teach you in those boot camps, anyway?”

 

“What would you prefer?” Steve asked, gripping Tony’s waist so hard there would more than likely be hand shaped bruises sitting in their wake the next day. Words that he’d blush at even only seeing in Bucky’s magazines poured out of his mouth, but he just couldn’t stop them… and he wasn’t sure he wanted to. “That I babble on about how good your pretty little ass looks all wrapped around my giant cock? How I want to just let go and use all my strength and fuck you as hard as I can? How I want to hold you and watch you come and make you forget your father and the shit cards you’ve been dealt?” Tony moaned loudly, constricting around Steve’s erection at the words, making said man see stars.

 

“Fuck yes. Please, please Steve-“ He pounded in as hard as he could allow himself, feeling the telltale coil in his lower stomach tightening.

 

“I’m-“

 

“Do it.” Steve came with a low groan, continuing to rock himself in and out slowly until he was done, feeling his come squish inside his lover. Without even taking the time to catch his breath, he pulled out his softening penis and set to work on Tony, wrapping his lips around the red and dripping cut head of his gorgeous cock. The brunette’s hands tangled themselves into the blonde’s hair until his lover’s skilled tongue brought him to a climax, face contorting in pleasure that brought a smile to Steve’s face before he spit what he was given out the door of the car.

 

Both men lay breathless after that, tangled in each other for a few minutes sharing soft kisses, not bothering to clean themselves up or redress. They simply enjoyed each other’s company and reveled in the shock of what they just did.

 

“Wow.” Tony nodded below him.

 

“Yeah.” Suddenly the incredibly loud sound of scraping metal filled the couples’ ears, along with an awful shaking. Steve sat up quick as lightning, senses going haywire.

 

“What the-“ And the sound came again, louder this time. Steve saw Tony flinch and attempt to cover his ears. The car shook, squeaking on rusty axels.

 

“I may not know much about sea travel-“ Tony said after the shaking stopped again. His brows were furrowed as he looked to Steve. “but even I can tell that was  _not_  supposed to happen.”

 

“We can’t stay here.” Steve opened the door and climbed out carefully, not even attempting to avert his eyes from Tony’s sweat-slicked, bruising body. Tony rolled his eyes.

 

“I don’t think we have time for a round two, as much as I’d enjoy that.” Steve blushed before reaching back into the car to retrieve his crumpled clothes. Tony leaned down to pick up his own. “And I mean really,  _really_ enjoy-“

 

“I get it! Geez…” Steve said bashfully, dressing so quickly that he nearly tripped and had to rest his hand against the side of the car for support.

 

“Awe, where’d my bossy Captain go?”

 

“Shut up, Stark.” Tony climbed out of the back seat, and landed a soft peck on Steve’s reddened neck.

 

“Love you too.”

 

The pair were silent for a moment, before the sounds of yelling interrupted and pulled them out of their bubble. Steve grabbed Tony’s hand harshly, and began pulling him toward the door.

 

“You gotta stop distracting me like that.”

 

“Like I’d ever-“ They exited the storage compartment into the hallway they entered through, only this time it was almost a different world. Steve stepped out tentatively, listening for any signs of danger, blue eyes scanning the dark passage.

 

A sound, however faint, reached his ears.

 

“Water.” Steve said, pulling Tony at a sprint down the hall. All he could think about was ice. Cold, freezing cold water. Coming into the ship. Killing him. Killing  _Tony._

 

“Water? What do you mean?” Tony panted, trying in vain to keep up with the blonde’s gait.

 

“I mean there’s water coming into the ship. I can hear it, I swear-“ Steve came to a locked crew door and without hesitating broke it down, ushering Tony in front of him. “Go first, I’ll be right behind you.” The inventor looked at him for a moment before surging foreword to give him a short kiss, then followed his orders.

 

“You better be, Winghead.” Steve turned to follow behind, before a sound hit his ears.

 

“ _Help us! Help us! Please-_ “ People were trapped, they were drowning. Steve thought back to his dinners and time spent pouring over the ship’s blueprints with Thor.

 

What deck was he on? The Orlop deck? He thought hard, until it hit him.

 

The people working in the engine rooms… they all got shut in by the watertight doors.

 

Steve took one more look at Tony’s form climbing farther and farther away from him up the stairs before he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and disappeared down the hallway in the direction of the voices.

 

The more he ran, the more noticeable it was that there was a slight slant to the ground, and that the air seemed to be getting colder. Steve stopped at a crossroads, the sound of rushing water becoming ever louder.

 

“Hello?” He yelled. The ship felt eerie, and almost haunting. It had a voice, it had feelings, and at that moment, it was angry. “Is anyone there?” He waited a few more seconds, before the sound of fists pounding against metal filled his ears from the left, and he took off immediately.

.

 

Tony was not happy to find that Steve wasn’t anywhere to be found by the time he reached the top of the steps. He thought of it as almost a betrayal. What was he going to do without his handsome hunk of supersoldier there to protect his from the goddam ship fucking  _sinking_?

 

Well.

 

He didn’t know it was sinking.

 

It could’ve been a total freak occurrence.

 

The ship making a grinding sound that he was used to hearing while inventing new things, in those moments where he would have to rip pieces of metal apart.

 

And the shaking: totally, 100% normal on boats. Nothing that couldn’t be explained out by any normal person.

 

But the thing was that Tony Stark wasn’t normal. And he knew that something was terribly, horribly wrong.

 

Which was why Steve was  _supposed to be by his side_.

 

“God  _fucking_ dammit, Steve!” Tony cursed running his hand tiredly across his face. He looked down the stairwell again, and by that point even  _he_ could hear the faint sound of rushing water coming from the bottom. It was a split second choice that he knew he would have to make; trust Steve and let him take care of himself, or find his friends and tell them what was happening, if they didn’t already know.

 

As much as he wanted to take the first choice, he sighed, turned, and ran up the rest of the crew stairs to get to his cabin.

 

The trip there was less than enjoyable, to say the least. It seemed as if most of third class had at least some idea of the current predicament, because there were a lot of anxious people filling the halls, all bundled up in whatever they had to keep them warm. He told whoever he could of his highly logical suspicions; the ship would sink, and it would do so sooner rather than later. The expressions on their faces made the brunette turn away and move on; move on and on and on. There were more people, there would always be more to help.

 

Tony traversed the crowds of people until he reached his cabin and opened the door to thankfully find all of his roommates safe. The first off of their bed was, of course, Bruce.

 

“Tony-“ He gathered Tony into a tight hug, which was quickly returned. “We thought you had left us or something.” Bruce pulled back but still held Tony by the arms, looking him in the eye. “What’s going on out there?”

 

“The crew won’t say shit.” Tasha said, busying herself by taking one of the mysterious black bags out from under hers and Clint’s bunk. Tony hesitated for only a moment.

 

“I-“ Tasha gave him a shit-eating grin. “ _we_  were down on the Orlop deck when the ship started shaking and making that grinding noise. I’m about 95% sure that there has been some sort of laceration in the bulkhead-“

 

“No way, they said this hunk of metal was unsinkable-“ Clint interrupted.

 

“Yeah and they said my father loved me, yet here we are.” Tony said, and the room fell momentarily silent until Tony cleared his throat. “...Anyway, we could hear water coming in, and the watertight doors are closed, I’m pretty sure.” Tasha found what she was looking for and stood up, slipping it into her pocket.

 

“Then there’s no time to lose.” Bruce said, leaning down to put his shoes on.

 

“They’ll be evacuating first class first.” Clint spoke to himself, digging through a second bag and pulling out-

 

“Is that a bow, Barton?” Tony asked, awestruck. Clint looked between the weapon in his hands and his roommate.

 

“...yes-“

 

“Oh my god-“ Tasha exclaimed, pointing at the ground, where water was starting to seep in under the door.

 

“Shit, shit,  _shit!”_  Tony exclaimed, quite loudly. He wrenched open the door to find people running up the now very noticeable slant of the ground to get to temporary safety. “Well it’s now or never, guys.” Tony yelled over his shoulder before proceeding through the freezing water and up the corridor.

 

“Wait!” Tony turned to face a wide-eyed Bruce. “What about Steve? Where is he?” Tony just shook his head and motioned for his friends to follow.

 

“He’s Captain America, he’ll be okay.”  _I hope he’ll be okay._

 

“I sure hope you’re right…” Clint said, walking beside Tony. Their breaths were semi-labored from the steepening climb. The sound of yelling grew louder and louder until they reached what was essentially a mob at the base of the stairs.

 

“Everyone,  _please_  calm down! There’s nothing to worry about-“ A crew member standing on the other side of a locked gate called down to the crowd of frantic third class passengers.

 

“BULLSHIT, MY ENTIRE CABIN IS UNDERWATER!” Someone replied, causing a roar to rise from the crowd.

 

“It’s just a precaution! Please, put on your life belts-“ Tasha turned to the group.

 

“Okay, we aren’t getting out that way…” Her and Clint shared a look. “...follow us.” Bruce and Tony looked at each other, confused, before following the couple down the halls.

 

“First a bow and arrow, now this?” Bruce whispered in Tony’s ear. The latter simply shrugged and tried his damndest to keep his mind clear of thoughts of Steve drowning alone below decks, cold and broken and- “-Tony?” He snapped out of whatever kind of trance he was in on the floor, heart racing, left wrist gripped tightly in the right one, and hyperventilating. His sight was unfocused, everything was blurry and he couldn’t think and  _Steve- “_ Tones, are you with me? Please, say something-“ Bruce, it was Bruce crouched down next to him. Another pair of hands helped him up- Tasha’s. And then… and then Clint was patting him on the back before he pushed the kind touches away.

 

“I-I’m fine.” Tony rolled his shoulders back before giving Tasha and Clint a pointed look. “Weren’t we escaping?”

 

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s go.” Tasha said, looking back softly one last time before taking off at a silent jog down the hallway, almost like a spy or something.

 

The group continued to traverse the slanted halls in silence, Bruce taking sideways glances at Tony every so often until they made it to their destination; another crew passage.

 

“Aren’t those locked?” Bruce asked. Clint smirked and twisted the handle, revealing that it… wasn’t locked. wow.

 

“This one isn’t.” He said proudly, before ushering them upstairs. Bruce and Tasha went ahead, but Tony hesitated.

 

“C’mon, Tones!” Bruce yelled back.

 

“I think I’m… I think I’m gonna wait for Steve.” Bruce visibly blanched.

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah, he won’t be long-“

 

“Tony, he’s Captain America. Didn’t you just tell us that he’d be fine on his own?”

 

“...no.”

 

“Tony!”

 

“I’ll be-“ He thought back to Steve’s words. “...find Bucky and Peggy, if you can. If I don’t see you again, please try your damndest to get on a boat.”

 

“Tony…” Tasha started, but the brunette wasn’t going to change his mind.

 

“If you see Jeremiah, give him hell for me. And grab yourselves some life-belts!” He paused before turning away. “I’ll see you all soon.” And he ran down the halls.

 

“Hell yeah you will! I’m not getting off this boat without you, Tony!” Bruce yelled after him. Tony just smiled and shook his head. Loyal to the end, that one.

 

In front of him, the hallway didn’t just slope down, but there was water at the bottom. He took a deep breath, and kept going.

 

He had to find Steve, now that his friends were as safe as he could get them.

 

.

 

“I need you all to get as far from the door as possible!” Steve yelled through the metal door, praying that the people behind the bulkhead weren’t all drowned corpses. This would be his fourth door.

 

Steve backed up, the icy water that reached almost to his chest stabbing him with pins and needles, not to mention the other debris that floated around him.

 

The soldier took a determined breath and ran as fast as he could toward the door, ramming his shoulder in it as hard as he could. He then backed up to see the damage.

 

Hardly a dent.

 

He was too cold, too tired, and didn’t have the ability to gain the momentum needed to save these people. He tried again and again, but barely any progress was made.

 

Eventually he was just slamming the sides of his fists into the metal, hot tears building in his eyes because he was  _Captain America,_  and there were people on the other side of that door and he couldn’t save them.

 

He kept pounding until the water was up to the center of his chest and there was nothing more he could do except turn and leave the door closed. He had to get back to Tony.

 

He hiked through the water and whatever other dangerous objects were floating in the liquid ice until he found the ladder he came down in the first place, and started to climb out of the water.

 

Even if the air wasn’t much warmer than the water, the change felt to Steve like going from a winter in Dublin to more of a Brooklyn summer. Clothes dripping, he continued up, and up and up, until he reached the relative safety of the E deck, and sprinted up the steep incline.

 

 _Tony, where are you?_  He thought desperately, sprinting through the maze of hallways, praying hard that he wouldn’t find him so low in the ship when lifeboats were on the top decks, and he  _had_ to get into one.

 

“ _Steve?”_  Oh god.

 

“Tony?” Steve called, running in the direction of the voice until he saw the absolute idiot himself, and gathered him into his arms.

 

“I’m so glad you’re-“

 

“WHY ARE YOU DOWN HERE?” Steve yelled, and Tony cringed away a bit. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean-“ He put two fingers on his temples and closed his eyes for a moment to calm himself. “You should be on the upper decks with everyone else.”

 

“I couldn’t leave you-“ Tony said, stubbornly.

 

“Well you should have! God, it’s like you have a damn death wish.” Steve said, a bit of venom in his tone. He gestured for Tony to follow him, but the shorter man refused.

 

“You’re one to talk.” He grumbled. “Anyway, I have a better way back over here.” He gestured in the direction he came from. Steve nodded.

 

“Fine.” He let out a breath. “Lead the way.” Him and Tony ran until they reached yet another crew passage, and this time they went through it together, all the way to the top deck.

 

The climb was tension filled, and frankly Steve was glad when it ended. He just wanted Tony safe. Tony, and everyone else that he cared about. And everyone else in general. He just wanted the ship to  _not_ be sinking. But that wasn’t going to happen.

 

“Hey, you okay?” Tony’s soft voice startled him.

 

“Yeah, yeah I’m just dandy…” The people around them were mostly upperclass passengers who hadn’t felt the scrape, and in their bubble of self-righteousness hadn’t even noticed the listing of the deck. He heard several pompous voices asking for servants to  _return_  to their rooms to turn on the heaters or prepare tea for them. Steve clenched his fist and grit his teeth. Didn’t these assholes know that they were sending their servants to their deaths?

 

“Hey…” Steve looked at tony, who put a hand on his forearm to comfort him. “They don’t know what’s going on… and it’s probably better we keep it that way.”

 

“What? Why?” Tony pulled him along as he explained, keeping his voice low as to not alert the other passengers.

 

“The less people who take this seriously, the more of a chance you have of getting off-”

 

“Tony, that’s ridiculous!” Steve shook the inventor’s hand away. Tony stood, mouth gaping. He sighed and pushed a hand through his hair, pacing in a small circle.

 

“Why do you have to be so self sacrificing all the damn time? Why can’t we just look out for ourselves, find our friends-” He said, voice cracking.

 

“You know I can’t do that.” Steve’s reply was a bit colder than he intended, so he gave a quick look around then pressed his lips chastely to Tony’s cheek. “It’ll be alright, we’ll get off this-”

 

“Steve!” The familiar voice took a million pounds off of the supersoldier’s shoulders. The familiar shape of Bucky wove its’ way through the crowd, followed by a gaggle of other familiar faces.

 

“I knew we’d find you again.” Bruce said to Tony, who rolled his eyes. Clint and Tasha looked almost stationed behind the scientist, backs rigid. Steve’s eyes narrowed. He remembered these two plenty from a few days ago. Clint was crazy drunk, and Tasha was being witty and sarcastic.

 

Nothing like they were in that moment. Steve swore he could see the outline of a pistol in Tashas jacket pocket, but she moved to hide it when she caught him looking.

 

“It didn’t take long.” Just then some yelling erupted from the crowd. Steve picked his head up and subconsciously reached out for Tony.

 

“They’re loading the boats.” Clint said, looking over his shoulder, nerves obviously wound tighter than a spring. Bucky approached the gathering crowd and stood on his tiptoes to see through.

 

“I-I don’t think that’s what they’re fighting about.” He turned to Steve, looking him dead in the eye. “Steve, you might want to see this.” The blonde pushed through the crowd, keeping a steady grip on Tony through every step. Eventually he reached the front, but the result was not what he expected.

 

“Margaret Carter, you get on this damn boat or so help me I’ll-“

 

“What will you do, father? Risk your own chance at safety by coming after me?” Steve smiled proudly as her father sputtered, round face turning red. “That’s what I thought.” Peggy threw something into his hands before climbing out of the tiny boat and back onto the deck. “Have a nice life, father.” She turned away to face the crowd, a wide smile on her face broadening even more when she saw the soldier.

 

“Let’s get out of here, Peggs.” Steve said, leading the way back through the crowd, Jeremiah wailing behind them.

 

“You’ll regret this Margaret! Mark my words-” A warning bell went off in the back of Steve’s head and he turned around just in time to see Jeremiah Carter, out of his boat, with a gun pulled and trained on Peggy. “Get. Back. In. The. Boat.” He said. Steve was frozen, along with everyone else in the vicinity. Except for-

 

“Mr. Carter, hey-” Steve’s eyes bugged when he heard Tony speak up behind him, and make his way forward. “Can we just talk about this?”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about, you piece of utter trash.” Jeremiah said between gritted teeth, eyes and gun still trained on Peggy. The listing of the boat toward the bow was painfully obvious. A lot of the terrified people in the crowd began to pull away and run along the deck to pile into one of the other boats. The deck was getting louder and louder, and more and more clogged with confused people.

 

“Maybe I deserve that-” Tony came closer, hands out in surrender “but your daughter doesn’t.” Jeremiah roared with anger that made Tony flinch.

 

“You have no idea what’s best for her!” He flailed the gun around, eyes bugged out of his head. The crewman behind him simply cowarded behind other people. “You were the one who took the  _one person_  who could fix her life.” He turned to Tony, crazed, and Steve’s heart stopped.

 

“It doesn’t have to be like this-”

 

“Drop the gun.” Steve turned to see Tasha, eyes on fire and gun cocked and loaded, aimed towards the older man. “Drop it or I’ll shoot.” She said. He just laughed.

 

“Then shoot.” He quickly aimed the gun at Tasha and fired, but Steve’s world went into slow motion when he turned and aimed at Tony. His limbs moved on their own; one minute Bucky was frozen at his side, the next he was standing in front of Tony with a bullet hole in his side.

 

“Steve?” Tony’s voice entered his ears, but it was like he was listening through water. Everything sounded far away He felt hands shaking him. “ _Steve?_ ” Tony again. Steve groaned. His side hurt like a bitch. It kinda reminded him of when he used to get beaten up in the alleys back in Brooklyn. He opened his eyes to find Tony’s staring back, glistening with unshed tears.

 

“Hey.” He said. Tony’s hand pressed against the already healing wound in his side. “I’ll be okay-”

 

“CLINT!” Bruce’s voice took Steve’s attention from Tony to the body of one of his friends on the ground

 

“No-” He said, then rose to his feet to painfully make his way over to where his friend lie, staring lifelessly at the stars above. Clint’s hand was draped loosely on the handle of a bow. Tasha was kneeling next to him, honest to god  _tears_  falling down her face.

 

“It was supposed to be me.” She said as Bucky moved to comfort her. She flinched away from his hand. “It should have been  _me_ ”

 

“Tasha-” Bruce said, but she didn’t answer. She just cradled his hand and let the tears slide down her face. Steve’s face fell as he looked back to Tony, but was not greeted by the reaction he expected.

 

“Steve, what the fuck was that.” Tony said. “You think you’re ten-foot-tall and bulletproof but you’re NOT!” He yelled at Steve who was taken aback, quite frankly, before composing himself and continuing. “No matter what enhancements you have, no matter how strong or fast you are or quickly you heal, you still boil down to a human with flaws and weaknesses.”

 

“Tony-“ Steve started, but was ignored by the object of his affection as he continued his anxious pacing back and forth rhythmically across the slanted deck.

 

“You have a life to live! You’re a goddam American hero, and you want to throw yourself in the path of a fucking criminal on a boat in the middle of the Atlantic so my ass doesn’t get shot? And then  _you get hit_ , almost in the fucking heart? I don’t care about your damn powers; a point-blank shot to the heart would have killed you.” He continued, running his hand (covered in Steve’s drying blood, of course) through his hair, mussing it even more.

 

“Tony-“ Steve tried again, but like clockwork, continued to be ignored.

 

“I’m  _expendable_ , Steve.” He stopped pacing, finally turning his attention to the blonde. “People need you, not me. Literally  _no one_ would miss me-“ Steve couldn’t listen to that anymore.

 

“Tony! Shut the  _fuck_ up and  _listen to me_ !” Steve used his Captain America voice, and Tony’s mouth snapped shut, brown eyes brimming with unshed tears. The soldier stood up, mindful of his already partially healed wound, and put both hands on either of the brunette’s quivering shoulders. “No one would miss you?” He laughed, and Tony raised a brow. “What about Bruce? Or, or Bucky or Peggy. Hell, what about Tasha and…” He looked at the body on the ground a few meters away for a moment, before looking back into Tony’s eyes. “-or Clint? or Thor and Loki? Even Peter?” Tony looked down at his crimson covered hands. “Christ, what about  _me?_ ” Steve said, looking around to make sure no one else was on deck before pulling the man into a hug, gunshot wound be damned. “I don’t want to live in a world without Tony Stark.” Steve whispered into Tony’s curls, holding him close. Tony closed his eyes and let himself melt into Steve’s arms- this was startlingly familiar to how Steve held him- accidentally- the first night they met, which was also the first time Steve saved Tony’s sorry ass. “We either both make it off of this hunk of metal or I don’t get off this ship. I don’t want to live without you.”

 

 “Well you might want to get a move on, then.” Bucky said. Steve turned to face his best friend. “Sorry to ruin the moment, but the ship is kinda sinking.” The other man had a limp Tasha in his arms, and Peggy was by Bruce’s side. All of them had expressions of grim determination on their faces.

 

“You’re right.” Tony said, wiping his cheeks and taking a breath. The deck was at such a harsh angle that it felt like Steve was climbing another mountain. Deck chairs slid down, along with tables, and sometimes people. There were crowds gathered around every lifeboat that was still connected to the ship, and still their group pressed on, for some reason, and orchestra was still playing. They climbed and climbed until they had almost reached the stern of the ship, when Tony stopped. “Guys, there’s a boat up there.”

 

“What?” Steve asked. Tony pointed.

 

“See near that smokestack?” The soldier followed where Tony was pointing. Low and behold, there was a very small lifeboat strapped to the top. Steve smiled.

 

“Whaddaya say we do get it?”

 

“Hell yeah!” Bucky said, and started climbing up the side of the ship until he was up on top, untying ropes and cords to free wha may have been their ticket out. “Steve pal, can you help me?” Bucky grunted from above.

 

“Yeah, of course.” The ship groaned as he climbed up, wary of Tony’s eyes on him. The bullet wound still throbbed but he had a job to do. He gripped the side of the lifeboat and pushed, sliding it off the roof to let it crash teh the ground below. Steve and Bucky jumped down, panting.

 

“Tony, do you think you could get this hooked up to that pulled over there?” Bruce asked, and a shit-eating grin lit up the engineer’s face.

 

“Piece of cake.” And it really seemed to be. Within three minutes and only a moderate amount of cursing, the lifeboat was hooked up to the pulley. “Alright, everyone in.” Peggy hesitated.

 

“Are you sure it’s big enough?’ She asked. Steve could see where she was coming from. That boat was less than half the size of the others There was no way-

 

“It’ll have to be.” Tony said, and started ushering his friends in. One by one they went, until it was just Steve and Tony still aboard. They shared one look, and Steve knew exactly what Tony was thinking. He nodded, took the rope next to him, and pulled.

 

“What are you doing?” Bucky yelled as the boat was lowered.

 

“Someone’s gotta lower the boat.” Steve yelled, even though it hurt.

 

“What happened to the end of the line?” He yelled, but Steve couldn’t answer. He just kept pulling the rope until it was slack, then turned back to Tony.

 

“You should’ve been on that boat.” Steve said, beginning to climb, once again, to the stern. The angle was so harsh he was surprised Tony was still going. The aforementioned man scoffed.

 

“And leave you?” They reached the railing and climbed over just as the awful sound of cracking metal filled their ears. “Not a chance.”

 

The next few minutes were a blur of gripping the metal bars, holding Tony’s freezing hand, and then the shock of cold, followed by kicking toward the surface of an icy sea, lit by fire and flares. Screams of people drowning filled his ears, but all he cares about was Tony’s hand in his.

 

“Are y-you okay?” Steve asked as he treaded water. Tony’s hair was matted to his forehead, and glistened in the icy moonlight. He looked gaunt and pale. It was terrifying.

 

“Peachy.” He said.  “L-l-looks li-like you’re turnin’ i-into a real life c-capsicle, huh?”  Steve smiled despite himself, and the cold, and that they were dying. He wanted to enjoy some last glimmer of happiness. Steve’s eyes wandered until they fell on a bit of debris.

 

“Look.” He said, and started to pull Tony along as he swam towards the object, which he made out to be a door. “Climb on.” He told Tony, who for once in his life obeyed without any sassy comment. Steve already couldn’t feel his legs by the time the brunette was shivering on top.

“Your turn, winghead.” Tony said, moving over so far that the piece of wood almost capsized.

 

“I-I don’t think so, Tones.” Tony shook his head and took his hand.

 

“The hell you’re not-”

 

“There’s no room.” Tony hesitated before taking Steve’s other hand and bringing it to the wood’s edge.

 

“Yo-you’re not gonna die here.” Tony shivered

 

It was like Steve couldn’t feel the cold anymore as he grasped loosely at the door, trying to pull himself up.

 

“Tony you k-know I would d-d-die for… you.” Steve huffed out, his body wracked in shivers and covered in his own blood. The inventor just reached out a shaking hand and grasped the love of his life’s, slowly taking it and pressing it to his ice cold lips.

 

“I-I don’t want you to die for me, S-Steve.” Tony said at a volume that could barely be heard over the panicked (and dying out) screams of other people. “I w-want you-you to live for me.” He forced out, trying his damndest to rub some warmth into the soldier’s hand. “D-death is so-“ he struggled to get the words out. “f-finite. I-I don’t want to l-let the R-Reaper have more time with y-you than I did, spork.” They sat in silence for a few moments more, until there were no screams left to hear and the quiet was just too heavy.

 

“Y-you se-see the stars up t-there, T-Tones?” Steve stuttered, pressing himself impossibly closer to Tony, who merely grunted in response, but had his eyes open, facing the sky. “The-The light, from those, those stars…” Steve had to rest for a moment, the cold sucking all the air out of his lungs. He hadn’t felt so vulnerable and weak since before the serum. “h-has been sh-shining for thousands of years.”

 

“Th-They’re beautiful.” Tony whispered, the reflection of the small skyward lights dotting his glossy eyes. Steve looked over at him for a moment, studying the genius engineer.

 

“Yeah, they are.” He whispered, before looking back up to the sky and staying quiet for a few moments more, the only sounds were the screams of the dying and the lapping of the small waves on their little raft; the sound of which had turned from being relaxing to daunting.

 

Tony could remember, in that moment, his first night on the boat, looking down upon the water that called him ever nearer, but turned from comforting to razor sharp teeth designed to tear him apart.

 

Steve could remember how terrified he was that the other man would jump, especially now that he knew how important said man would be to him. The blonde couldn’t even perceive the thought that Tony could’ve just been gone in the blink of an eye; swallowed by the very ocean that threatened to take him now.

 

“The-The ligh-light from this mo-moment will be sh-shining fo-for thousands more.” Steve said, eyes lost in the sky, his and Tony’s bodies stuck in the middle of two infinities- the ocean and the cosmos.

 

Hours later, a sound hit Tony’s ears. A voice, and then he opened his frostbitten eyes, and saw something; a light other than moonlight. He sat up weakly, frozen limbs crackling and squeezed Steve’s hand.

 

“Steve.” He said, the smile on his face hurting his cracked lips. He shook the soldier’s shoulder. “Steve, they came back.” He rasped, voice gone from the cold. “I-I t-told you they, they would come back-” Tony’s smile started to melt away when Steve didn’t reply; didn’t even move. “Steve?” He shook him harder, lifted his head.

 

The soldier’s eyes were closed softly. No puffs of air escaped the crack between his lips. His chest didn’t rise and fall gently.

 

“No… no, you can’t, you can’t leave me here.” Tony whispered frantically. He would be crying except all his tears were frozen. His heart was beating in the palm of his hand; in the place where Steve was last alive and touching him. “I thought were were in this together…” Tony said.

"You said you'd never let go..." 

“ _Hello?_ ” The voice from the boat called. So this was the choice. Stay and die with the love of his life, or live for him.

 

The choice was harder than it should have been.

 

Tony frantically searched around for some way to alert the boat of his whereabouts. In about thirty seconds, his eyes locked on to the glint of a shining silvery whistle. With the last of his strength, he let go of Steve’s hand and jumped back into the water, the only thing keeping him afloat was his will to live, to prove to Steve that when he had to make his own choice about whether he would live or die, he would choose to live for him.

Tony blew the whistle with his frozen lungs, the metal sticking to his hardened lips. He clung onto the worker’s plank and prayed to every single god that they would hear him.

 

Now, Tony Stark was a 100% Atheist. He was a man of science, after all.

 

But the moment the searchlight landed on him, and he could hear the familiar yells of  _someone_ he knew, Tony felt a spark of gratitude that he’d never felt before in his life.

 

“Tony? Holy shit,  _Tony_!” Bucky, he was alive.

 

“Hey, Buck.” He said as the other passengers hoisted him out of the water and gave him whatever dry blankets they had, asking him over and over if he was okay. He said yes, because what would they have done if he said no? They were on a tiny life boat in the middle of the ocean.

 

“Is Steve-“ Tony looked away. He couldn’t face the soldier next to him. He had to tune out his friend’s cries of anguish, if only out of envy, because he couldn’t feel it.

 

Tony sat on that boat, his heart colder than his body.

 

Numb.

 

He couldn’t feel anything at all.

 

 After losing his mother, he never thought he could let another person in. But he did. He let Steve in.

 

Now look what’s happened. He lost the love of his life. What was the point. Everyone he let in ended up broken or dead.

 

But Steve wouldn’t want him to think like that. Steve would want him to remember what they did together, the love that they shared. He would want Tony to follow his dreams, to build and create and change the world. To not let others hold him back.

 

It’s what Steve would’ve wanted. Tony looked at Bucky, seeing the other man cry for the first time, and wrapped an arm around him.

 

Who was Tony Stark to say no to Steve Rogers?

 

-

_We kissed beneath the twisted trees,_

_Our lips between the stars,_

_Tiny ripples in a lake,_

_This love, once lost,_

_Is ours._

 

-Michael Fauder

**Author's Note:**

> check out the awesome art for this fic!!
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you had a good time reading this! Don’t forget to comment, it really makes my day.


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